psyche's Journal

I actually ate today. First time in about a week. I've gotten my sleeping time up to about 18 hours per day. If it wasn't for the animals I could get the time up even more.  I have an appt with the so called therapist at 9 am so I'll get up for it and then go to the store and such and mail some more things of my ex that I've found.  I'll be exhausted by the time I get home so I hope that I'll be able to sleep the rest of the day. Except for the animals and there bathroom breaks...stupid animals...just kidding. I've found sleep the nearest thing to being dead w/out being dead.  And now I have someone to come in and clean once a week I don't care how nasty I can make this place.  If you work the pills just right then you really can sleep 18 or more hours per day.  It's reall wonderful. You don't have to worry about no one (real) no loving you, no one holding you, asking you to lunch or out on a date or really being a person.  And I have to tell you that if you take 100 mg of Benedryl plus Methadone you can get a hell or a buzz on your head.  The cats don't mind. They have a cat door...it's the dog that has to go in and out.....I might be able to give him to my brother.  With all this laying around and such, I'm not using alot of natural resourses or using gas to go anywhere and such.....I tell you guys it's the next best thing to being dead. I often wake up talking to myself and even using my hands to make some point and it is so funny, but I never remember what it was about......so I can now have a clean house, change the sheets once a week, keep my appts and keep getting my meds and be the great sleeping woman.  Thank god I've found something that  seems to help me forget all the awful things that are lacking in my life. I don't worry about the lack of human touch and having lunch with friends and hugging them, or dating (yea, like someone would date this thing...LMAO) and all the other things that I don't have. What I do have is sleep!!!!! It's great......night cruel world....ya'll sleep tight now.....sweet dreams.....