JoeTex's Journal

I am strong Mood

Friday, August 29, 2008 | A Positive story

I did it again. I am beating the odds, not beating my head. It has been a rather emotional couple of days. I got choked up a few times but I made it. I called and left a birth day song for my little girl. I pray that some day I will be back in the life of my children. Until then I am going to keep up the good fight. My broken heart wont heal, but that is no reason to drink.

I chaired my first AA meeting tonight. Was I nervous? No, not at all, just very excited. I feel so thankful that God has lead me to this place. I am alone, but I am not lonely. I am thirsty, but not for drink. I am hungry, but not for food. My instincts, my thoughts, and my life has become stable. I have a group of friends that are there for me, care about me. For the first time in my life, I belong.

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These are all good things Joe! You should be very proud. I believe that you will be able to get back into your children's lives soon. I pray for that for you. So you can mend that relationship with your children and show them all you have done so that you can be with them again.

daisylb

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I get it!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 | An Educational story

I could not figure out why the pain has been growing in my chest as it relates to seeing my children. It came out of me today when I was talking to a co-worker. My daugter turns two tomorrow!! Isn't that awesome. I will call and leave a message for her. I know her mother wont answer the phone when I call. Happy birth day Sarah, daddy loves you.

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Call her... Sing Happy Birthday! And keep walking your path. Someday your children will understand how hard you have worked so that you can get back custody... and how much you regret the behavior that caused you to lose custody in the first place. You remain in my thoughts and prayers Joe!!

daisylb
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have a sibling who gets mad at me and when that happens she wont let her children talk to me. It happened again and for almost 8 weeks now have not been able to have a relationship with them.I am very close to the children so I understand the chest pain as when this happens I get the pain also! I can only imagine how much harder it is when its your own children. You are in my thoughts and prayers and please hang in there and never give up fighting for your rights to talk to them.

Lana43

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Must be........ Mood

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 | A Painful story

I am really missing my kids today. I know this sounds selfish but I wish the pain would go away. I have tears filling up my eyes as I type this. I spent the last two days doing the best I can for a bunch of other peoples kids and there is not a damn thing I can do with mine. This pain in my heart is the worse I have ever felt. How can a person be so cold as to do this to another person? I figured out a while back that the person I am married to has no love for me or she would never have done this and continue it. Maybe this is the justice I deserve for the drinking. I did it for so long. My youngest one will never have to see daddy sittin by himself drinking every night. She will never have to see me!!!

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I'm so sorry Joe, I have been so selfish and here you are in sooo much pain I wish there was something I could do...I will keep you in my prayers!! I love you Joe

Bailey42
Jesus Joe!! I can have no idea how much this situation hurts!! You must be in excruciating pain!! I am so sorry!! But... Unfortunately, I have to tell you that you were the one that picked up the cocktails; so you have to own the results. I am with you everyday. I hope and pray that you do not drink again. I hope and pray that your doc signs off on your sobriety. I am so incredibly impressed with your six months of sobriety.... Dude... I am trying to get six days... Think about all the time you have spent as a teacher helping other peoples kids (with no result) and now you have to do the time for your own kids. Keep a journal for them. Buy cards; fill them out. Have them to show your kids when you finally have time with them.
My first blush impression is that your soon-to-be-ex-wife is actually trying to protect your kids.

Would you want someone who has been "tossing them back all afternoon" pick up your children and drive them across town? Let alone be sure that a responsible adult made dinner, took them to soccer practice, etc.??

You need to own your part in this.... Could your ex help you so that you could try and maintain a relationship with your kids? Absolutely... but remember... we spent a lot of time screwing up.... we earned our penance... I hate to admit it... especially since I am on the cusp of the same situation with my husband... but we need to be totally honest about who we are, where we are, and what we are up to....

After 6 months I totally agree you should get a pass... but how long were you drunk? How long did your soon-to-be-ex-wife have to hear your stories... I am thinking you built a long history of lies.

Joe ~ I start my day with prayer. And you are #2 after "Please Jesus Help Me Get Through This Day Without Drinking." Then I pray, "Please Jesus Help Joe ~ Help Him in his Recovery & Help Joe do what it takes to get his kids back."

Dude ~ you have to do whatever it takes to get your doctor, the court, and your soon-to-be-ex-wife to believe that you are not drinking anymore... End of Story

If there is anything I can do to help you or help ease your pain; I am more than happy to do ti.

Daisylb

daisylb
Jesus Joe!! I can have no idea how much this situation hurts!! You must be in excruciating pain!! I am so sorry!! But... Unfortunately, I have to tell you that you were the one that picked up the cocktails; so you have to own the results. I am with you everyday. I hope and pray that you do not drink again. I hope and pray that your doc signs off on your sobriety. I am so incredibly impressed with your six months of sobriety.... Dude... I am trying to get six days... Think about all the time you have spent as a teacher helping other peoples kids (with no result) and now you have to do the time for your own kids. Keep a journal for them. Buy cards; fill them out. Have them to show your kids when you finally have time with them.
My first blush impression is that your soon-to-be-ex-wife is actually trying to protect your kids.

Would you want someone who has been "tossing them back all afternoon" pick up your children and drive them across town? Let alone be sure that a responsible adult made dinner, took them to soccer practice, etc.??

You need to own your part in this.... Could your ex help you so that you could try and maintain a relationship with your kids? Absolutely... but remember... we spent a lot of time screwing up.... we earned our penance... I hate to admit it... especially since I am on the cusp of the same situation with my husband... but we need to be totally honest about who we are, where we are, and what we are up to....

After 6 months I totally agree you should get a pass... but how long were you drunk? How long did your soon-to-be-ex-wife have to hear your stories... I am thinking you built a long history of lies.

Joe ~ I start my day with prayer. And you are #2 after "Please Jesus Help Me Get Through This Day Without Drinking." Then I pray, "Please Jesus Help Joe ~ Help Him in his Recovery & Help Joe do what it takes to get his kids back."

Dude ~ you have to do whatever it takes to get your doctor, the court, and your soon-to-be-ex-wife to believe that you are not drinking anymore... End of Story

If there is anything I can do to help you or help ease your pain; I am more than happy to do ti.

Daisylb

daisylb