Journal Entry for August 25, 2008
August 25, 2008 12:58pm
; Where to start? Life is good. And I am eternally gratefull to the people in my life. They did'nt have to be there but they are.It's hard for me to ask for help,I know this is because of to manying helping people that had there own agendas, through out my life time. I just don't trust people.
I have mother issues, I know this. But honestly whith a mother like mine, how could you not.
I have anger issues related to the mother issue. Why she is on my mind I don't know, I am such a liar I do too. It'll be four years since my Dad died soon and it hard not to think about him and not think of her. I am trying to work through to a place of forgiveness but it hard. I'm not sure I don't still hate her.
How could you sell your children to a pedophile? How could you let your husband molest your grandchildren? And so many other rumours of disgusting preportions, but the first two I know are fact.
She was grossly overwieght, 720lb at 5'1"
(I was teased about Shamu being my mother) She is Bipolar with physicotic episodes, She's F#^&ing nuts. She locked us in closets and left us there for days when my Dad was out of town for work. Tried to kill us, and I wish I was exsagerating but I,m not. But only my sister who is 13 month youger than me and me because she was delusional and had this mary poppins a boy and girl the White picket fence, Cleaver as in leave it to the Beaver fantasy she lived in and she would beat the shit out of whatever poped her bubble.
My brother was born when I was 3, things got better for awhile after he was born because then she just pretended we were'nt there which was way better. Until my sister and I caught my uncles eye. Ok maybe she didn't know but how could you be so blind? My aunt and uncle paid for private school for me so I was at there home in the afternoons and sometimes latter as my parents only owned one pickup real practical with three kids, so I would be there untill my Dad got off work or out of the bar. So my uncle had plenty of opertunity.
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