Journal Entry for July 17, 2008
July 17, 2008 5:39pm
Just got demoted at work. I knew it was coming so it wasn't a big suprise. Having to tell everyone about what happened was really awkward …
Progress
60 %
Calus’s Profile
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About Me
I've been battling Bipolar disorder ever since I can remember. Most of my youthful years were marked by severe episodes of depression and loneliness. Everything came to a head in my mid-twenties when I was medically discharged from the Marine Corps for depression/anxiety disorder. Shortly afterwards I turned into a raging alchoholic. About a year ago I had an epiphany and realized that things can get better if you put forth the time and effort. Since then I have initiated a plan to get better and salvage what is left of my life. Currently I am gathering pieces of my former self and bettering my life by attending college and living a healthy lifestyle.
Interests
Snowboarding, exercising, video games, watching TV.
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Recent Activity
Yesterday
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Calus replied to cb72’s discussion post violent rages on your kids in the Bipolar Disorder support group 10:14pm
I don't have kids but when I get really mad I start getting intrusive thoughts about killing/hurting…
Wednesday
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Calus gave MaineGirl011108 a Hug 10:43pm
Hey, thanks for the journal comment. I needed the extra time off so I'm kinda glad I got demoted. The…
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Calus gave leahkj a Hug 11:23am
I'm doing great, was checking out your new pics last nite and you look really good :) Hope all is well.…
July 17
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Calus wrote a journal entry updating 2 goals 5:39pm
Just got demoted at work. I knew it was coming so it wasn't a big suprise. Having to tell everyone…
July 16
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Calus wrote a discussion post in the Bipolar Disorder support group: Demoted 5:18pm
I got demoted at work today for making too many costly mistakes. I'm so depressed I feel like crawling…
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Journal
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Journal Entry for June 18, 2008
June 18, 2008 11:38pm
I am surrounded by a lot of women at work but one in particular always melts my heart whenever I talk to her. She has a wonderful personality and a …
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Journal Entry for June 11, 2008
June 11, 2008 9:15pm
I had a talk with my supervisor today and she basically just gave me a written warning. She said that "I've had a lot on my plate …
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Work Stress ARGH!
June 8, 2008 4:15pm
My job is really testing my limit. I've made two really bad mistakes at work and I feel like I might be getting terminated soon. Last week …
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Journal Entry for June 3, 2008
June 3, 2008 3:44pm
Things have been going well lately. I just went in for my physical exam for the Fire Department which included a stress tess (running on a teadmill …
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Hugbook
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Hug
ya know what every1s been sayin im lookin well these days.an believe me..i feel it hun.awww ive missed u though my darling! xx
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Hug
hey hun.im bk.long time no speak! hows u munchkin?
Hug
How are you? I hope you're hanging in. If you need to talk, I am here.
Hug
Hope you're doing well... Thought you could use a Hug!! :)
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I’m With You
Be well and I am here for you.
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Photos
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Goals
View all in progress Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
I recall having episodes of depression as far back as elementary school. I began seeing a psychiatrist in '03 and was diagnosed with bipolar/anxiety disorder shortly afterwards.
Treatments
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Lexapro is the medication I have had the most success with. I felt it's affects faster than I did with other drugs and it "upped" my mood dramatically.
- Biaxin Working / Worked
- Lamictal helped stabilize my mood. Along with Lexapro, it helped me become an overall happier person. The combination of the two was what worked best for me.
- Paxil Not Working
- I was on Paxil for numerous months and felt little to no effects. My doctor said it is pretty common for Paxil to simply not work for some people.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Exercising helps me keep an overall positive mood. It clears my mind and makes me feel good when I see myself making progress.
Close Alcoholism
I often turn to alchohol to make myself feel happy. My excessive drinking has gotten me into really bad trouble numerous times. I've never managed to stop drinking completely but recently I have been able to control how much I drink.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Somewhat Helpful
- Works for many people but I honestly can't see myself never drinking for the rest of my life. It's just a reality I'm willing to live with.
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- It feels good to share experiences and thoughts with other people who are fighting the same battle.
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I was a pack-a-day smoker for about 6 years. Smoking helped me relive stress and feel at ease. However, I realized that it was a bad habit I had to let go if I wanted to improve my quality of life. Quitting was one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2007. I haven't had a cigarette in close to a year.
Treatments
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- Requires alot of willpower and dedication. Manageable if you avoid other smokers and places that allow you to smoke.
Open Insomnia
Been having sleeping problems for as long as I can remember. It is 3 in the morning as I'm writing this and I am wide awake. I just can't seem to fall asleep during normal hours like regular people.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionBeing bipolar I often go through severe episodes of depression throughout the day. Most of it stems from my obsessive thinking.
Treatments
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Out of all the treatments I have tried I found that exercise helps stablize my mood the most.
Open Anxiety
I obsess over things to a point that is beyond ridiculous. I find myself constantly worrying about everything, mainly my future, school, and work. It's as if there is a weight on my shoulders that can't be lifted, even when I try my hardest to relax. Anxiety has kept me from becoming the person I was meant to be.
Open Panic Attacks
I began experiencing panic attacks after experimenting with drugs a couple of years ago. I had my first panic attack after a long night of rolling on Ecstacy. It was the scariest moment in my life and I promised myself I would never touch drugs again. Things have gotten better over time, but every once in a while I get overwhelmed with panic.
Treatments
- Xanax Working / Worked
- It's the only drug I've tried for panic attacks and it seemed to work. Made me feel very euphoric and care-free.
Open Video Game Addiction
I was addicted to online gaming for a very long time. One game that really sucked away my life was World of Warcraft. For me it was just another way to escape reality. I've managed to quit gaming completely and now I just give advice to other people who are going through the same dilema.
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Groups
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 2 hugs given
- 5 hugs received
- 1 discussion reply
