rustyswife's Journal

After not having chemo for two weeks due to low platelet count it finally got OK so RM had chemo yesterday.

This stuff is strange - the first round (last year) he simply felt tired all the time (he was having radiation at the same time).  Then the March/April round of this year he felt great the day after but then day 2 & 3 after he was feeling really bad.  At the end of that cycle he started losing his hair and now is 99% bald (he shaved off what little remained) and has now lost most of his mustache, as well.

It is heartbreaking to see him so terribly thin - he hasn't weighed more than 129 lbs for the last year, and at one point was down to 115 lbs.  He does seem to be more 'interested' in food tho.  He mentioned yesterday that maybe it was time to try Denny's chicken noodle soup again (which was the last thing he was able to eat before the beast reared its ugly head again).  Also, drove thru KFC last nite to get my supper and he ordered mashed 'taters w/gravy....of course, they are still sitting on the counter unopened.

Guess I'll go back to making mac & cheese - that was also one of the things he was able to eat ...

I am really depressed this morning - today is our 28th wedding anniversary and also my 69th b'day.  Last year at this time he was getting ready to start chemo/radiation.  The only progress we have made in a year is to push the cancer down some - it is still there and life still sucks.  It doesn't help that I am now also dealing with Mom in a nursing home and Dad emotionally falling apart.