rustyswife's Journal

After having low platelets the first 2 times they scheduled chemo, he was finally able to have chemo on the 12th - and this is his week off, except he felt crappy until today (for a whole week) now he has one week to try to gain some weight back so he can have chemo again next week (the 26th) - we see Dr. P on the 25th and they pull blood that day so hopefully it will be OK.  Not only is eating real food not happening, he felt so bad he didn't get his quota of canned nutrition down for at least 3 days and he didn't even mention trying to go to work.  Have no idea what he weighs and I think he is afraid to get on the scale.

I finally managed to 1.) get my teeth cleaned 2.) get all 3 appointsments with the dermatologist done (skin cancer removed) and tomorrow I am taking a day of vacation so I can a.) take papers to Social Security (they can't find the ones we mailed) b.) go see Mom - I haven't been there for 2 weeks, c.) go see my mental health professional that I didn't get to see in Feb., Mar., Apr., or May and d.) go check out nursing homes close by so Mom can get moved where it is easier for me and both daughters to go see her.

Spent last Sat at Dad's sorting thru 'stuff' and didn't even make a dent in it.  He'll be moving in with various family memebers - time spent here, at my sister's and possibly one or both of my daughters' houses.  Then selling his home thus the reason for moving Mom out my direction.

Just in case anyone is interested - the bill is now $261K after 14 months.

After not having chemo for two weeks due to low platelet count it finally got OK so RM had chemo yesterday.

This stuff is strange - the first round (last year) he simply felt tired all the time (he was having radiation at the same time).  Then the March/April round of this year he felt great the day after but then day 2 & 3 after he was feeling really bad.  At the end of that cycle he started losing his hair and now is 99% bald (he shaved off what little remained) and has now lost most of his mustache, as well.

It is heartbreaking to see him so terribly thin - he hasn't weighed more than 129 lbs for the last year, and at one point was down to 115 lbs.  He does seem to be more 'interested' in food tho.  He mentioned yesterday that maybe it was time to try Denny's chicken noodle soup again (which was the last thing he was able to eat before the beast reared its ugly head again).  Also, drove thru KFC last nite to get my supper and he ordered mashed 'taters w/gravy....of course, they are still sitting on the counter unopened.

Guess I'll go back to making mac & cheese - that was also one of the things he was able to eat ...

I am really depressed this morning - today is our 28th wedding anniversary and also my 69th b'day.  Last year at this time he was getting ready to start chemo/radiation.  The only progress we have made in a year is to push the cancer down some - it is still there and life still sucks.  It doesn't help that I am now also dealing with Mom in a nursing home and Dad emotionally falling apart.