jmb32's Journal

I found this info on a website that was mentioned in one of the discussions. It was pretty insightful to me!

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page3.html

How does your partner treat you?

How many of these abusive things has your partner done to you?

Has he ignored your feelings? Does he ridicule or insult women as a group? Yes...I've often thought of him as misogynistic.

Has he ridiculed or insulted your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, heritage or class? No

Does he withhold approval, appreciation or affection as punishment? Yes

Has he continually criticized you? Called you names? Shouted at you? Yes

Does he humiliate you in private or public? Has he refused to socialize with you? Yes

Has he kept you from working? Controlled your money? Made all decisions? Has he refused to work or share money? No.

Does he play mind games on you? Does he tell you you're crazy or sick? Yes

Has he taken car keys or money away from you? No

Does he threaten to leave you or tell you to leave? Has he manipulated you with lies and contradictions? YES!!!!

Has he threatened to hurt you or your family? Has he abused, tortured, killed pets to hurt you? No.

Does he harass you about affairs he imagines you are having? Does he say that he will kill or hurt himself if you break up with him? No

Has he destroyed furniture? Punched holes in walls? Broken appliances? OH YEA

Has he wielded a gun or weapons in a threatening way? No

Does he tell you that if you changed he wouldn't get angry with you? Does he have a short temper that escalates intensely if you oppose him? Yes.

Does he make excuses for his abuse by saying it's because of alcohol, drugs or something you did? Yes

Does he always check up on you or question you about what you do when he is not around? No, never.

Does his jealousy and control stop you from seeing friends or family? Does he prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do? Hell No!


How do you feel around your partner?

Do you feel nervous around him? Usually

Do you have to be careful to control your behavior or what you say to avoid his anger/temper? Yep.

Do you feel pressured by him when it comes to sex? Yep.

Are you afraid of disagreeing with him? Used to be.

Does he make you feel ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated? Used to.

Does he make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, worthless, or inadequate? Yes.

Do you ever feel scared around him because of his violent or threatening behavior? Yes.

Do you often do things to please him, rather than to please yourself? All the time.

Do you feel that nothing is ever good enough for him? Yep.


So I guess it should be painfully obvious that I need to get out of there!
I almost told him this morning to get the F out of my life. It was kind of a rough night, the baby didnt sleep well so we were both tired this morning. Then, he said to me
"God, do SOMETHING"...
He was mad because I hadnt gotten the laundry from the dryer. K-the dryer is in the basement, which is where he spent about 4 hours last night. Any reason he couldnt have gotten it out? Just wondering.
Anyway, it's friday, and he's not going to ruin this beautiful day and the perfect weather we're having here.
I'm feeling good, and screw him!