padsmom's Journal

Journal Entry for June 11, 2008 Mood

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Feeling very anxious about money and the job situtaion today. Went to my new job on Mon and there was nobody there! Nobody had called me to tell me that the office wasn't going to open for another month because they didn't have enough patients schedules in that office! Grrrrrr... I can't wait another month , I need to work and I need money NOW! I am so pissed that no one called me to tell me that they weren't going to be open. I am now job hunting for another job, but I still want to keep my posistion with them secure in case none of the other job prospects pan out. I am scared to death right now and ready to jump out of my skin! Lately I have been doing nothing except sitting in the house, pacing back and forth and up and down the stairs and sometimes reading when I feel calm enough when I oucld be cleaning or doing something in the yard to help my mom. I feel so useless right now. I just hope I get a good job soon and get some money coming in so I can replenish my savings account. I have been praying and nothing is happening. Wondering if God is listening to me or punishing me for being lazy.

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Comments

God is not punishing you, maybe he knows you need more time off , even tho you think your ready to go back to work he knows that you need more time.. I know it's hard to not work and just sit around, I do it but I know my mind needs healing.. I think you should not worry about your situation if you have a home and a job lined up for next month.

nickpc20001
Yeah, I don't think God is punishing you either. Things will work out, and God is pulling for you. He works in mysterious ways, ya know?!?

About that cleaning thing--I am right there with ya. My house and yard are a mess right now. I keep telling myself that I will get it done as I can. Hang in there and know you have friends here!!

1countrygal
But yer not lazy, just this `condition` halts us from functioning fully sometimes! So God cant punish u!
I hope u get a new job sorted that u r happy with, its nice to have the inconsiderate other to fall back on!
Now motivation to clean..thats always either full on or full off with me, I been full off for nearly a week now, but set a target of room a day to sort.. I have done 1 1/2 in 3 days..hmmmm.. Hey thats about 150% better than I was! It will all come back when yr not fretting about something else major!
Its wierd, when u got time off u cant apply yrself, when u r working n have little time u get all these grand ideas of what to do, then dont have enough time! Damn beepers! lol xxx

Delusiondreamer