I've started the last row of pills …
I've started the last row of pills for the month, so that can only mean one thing. Batten down the hatches! The storm …
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Not so good.
SORRY to all my friends on here and elsewhere I've been neglecting as my world draws in.
Stress at work and my back's given out. Haven't been able to concentrate at work, felt if I closed my eyes I could sleep for a week, apart from when it feels like some's knifed me in the lumbar spine.
Went home yesterday feeling sorry for myself. Gave up the no-smoking, had some beers. Dizzy if I spend more than an hour out of bed. Think I may sacrifice my future career and admit that stress/depression is a factor in my absences. Took me 6 months to find a job after that last got onto my record, and that was because I was concealing it again. At least I have a permanent job this time.
Had a mental health consultation, shitting myself all the way through in case someone who knew me from work saw me. Now have been referred to a "beating the blues" computer programme. Got the idea how much importance is attached to it when I showed up and spent 15 minutes trying to find where the assessment unit was as no-one had bothered to signpost it. The programme itself was better than I expected, but god am I going to have so much to put in the diary it asked me to keep...
I should be expecting stress. Did I mention that someone drove into me and wrote off my car as well?
Batten down the hatches, this storm's gong to be rough....
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Can't believe you kidnapped the neighbours cat James! Albeit unbeknown its a very funny story and I am sad that the rescue cat took off.... but hey you are clearly not the first or it wouldn't have been at the rescue in the first place..... Perhaps it didn't like the smoke!?!
I was a smoker like you, could go without for days but in certain situations HAD to smoke. Then I got pregnant and that was it, being responsibile for another did the trick... Maybe you should consider the lungs of the cats in your charge?!? It might help.....
Anyway, I STILL think you should get out and do some volunteering, but hey... I think Im flogging a dead one there!!!!
But definitely post that bloody game.... heavens it sounds as unholy as you say, I hate the thought of how it pulls you in.. TRY and break the cycle there is a whole lot more to life James... Meanwhile, I am praying for you mind, body and soul... Hx
HeleneDM