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tomthumb's Journal

I feel like shit! Mood

Friday, July 11, 2008

This probably the worst i'v felt in ages!!! i can't take this for much longer, i'm not strong enough to get thru this! i really really really really really don't like myself. I'm useless, pointless, ugly, pathetic and i mess everything up!!!

i don't know why i bother, nothing ever goes right!!!!!!

i'm bored of myself and everything, i hate my life, and even if i dint hate my life it wouldn't matter because i don't feel any emotions!!

i managed to get my work van stuck in a ditch today so had to get one of the farmers to pull me out with a tractor.....well done me! i'm a complete useless idiot, i haven't always been like this and used to be quite competant(can;t even spell that) now i'm not!!!! i hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i broke down when i got in from work today, i didn't know what to do with myself, i couldn't stop thinking about how much i miss cara and how it's never going to happen with her again, i know i'm pretty young but i really thought she was the one!! how wrong was i! managed to mess things up with 2 gorgous girlfriends now, well done tom, ur a star!

i had the tablet bottle in my hand, i don't think i'd kill myself, i don't have the guts but i just don't know what else to do, how on earth can i live like this, it's no life, it's nothingness! i know things probably aren't that bad really but it doesn't feel like that at the mo! i'm so fed up of this!

i can't go on like this. idon't know what's keeping me going anymore, i have nothing!

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit i hate depression!!!!!!!!!!!why me!!?!?!?!?!?! i'm shit!!!!!!!!!!!!nothing makes me happy!!!!!!!

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Comments

I know the feelings you are having are very hard to deal with. You are not feeling good about yourself, you miss the person that you were with and you want her. Just try to hold on, you are a good person, just do your best. You will find the right person. I am sure lots of people like you. I don't know how they could not.

fragileteacup
That is what depression does to a person. It make one feel worthless, ugly, terrible. Don't let it do that to you. You need to find something that makes you happy. Try to control the depression. You need to learn how to control it. When you feel terrible, remember that it is depression that is trying to destroy you. Don't let it do that. I wish you well and take care.

sophy2