Well I had to write about my appointment …
Well I had to write about my appointment yesterday.It began with the ultrasound. I had a rather chatty …
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It's Friday the 13th and my bad luck continues. I am still dealing with my missed miscarriage. I found out over a week ago that there was no longer a heartbeat. I still have no symptoms of miscarriage.
I got in to see my doctor at the fertility clinic yesterday. I have like two pages of questions for her. I had decided I wanted a D&C mainly so the fetal tissue could be tested. I am desperate to find out why this continues to happen to me. She once again said it really wouldn't matter - the information wouldn't be helpful. I did ask about a placenta pathologist and she said that wouldn't happen. Maybe I faltered here in the meeting, because then she said that the tissue probably wasn't useable by now. I think she's frustrated with me. She just wants me to take the pills and get it over with so I'm no better off than I was a week ago. She is very much against a D&C saying it could cause damage to the uterus and cervix. She said once you have one, it can lead to more ie. they may have to do it again.
My head is just swimming. I asked about all the tests I've researched. Most have been done. When I asked if there were any number even just slightly off and not a huge red flag she said "no, just your age." I asked about some of the treatments I've heard about like asperin/herapin or prednisone, she said they were experimental and not medically sound. Sometimes so many statistics are spewed at me it's hard to keep them straight. I've read that your risk of miscarriage rises exponentially after 4 consecutive miscarriages. She is still telling me I have a 70 % of a successful pregnancy. I don't believe it especially since we don't do anything different or seem to investigate the causes. I can't keep randomly rolling the dice here. Anyway she says she's done all she can and she refuses to do anything "medically unsound". At the same time if I want it, she will refer me to another doctor she knows who she says will put my on a "cocktail" of unproven treatments.
Right now I have to deal with this miscarriage. How strange that the pregnancy I so feverently prayed to succeed ... I now praying to God to end naturally. If I don't do the pills, and if nothing happens on its own, my doctor has scheduled a D& C on April 26. Four weeks of walking around, hiding my sadness knowing my baby is dead. I keep hoping I'll wake up from this nightmare. I know there are women who can handle this without being the emotional mess I've become. I feel foolish for losing it and starting to cry with two colleagues. Maybe I should have kept it completely secret and just quietly use the pills on the weekend and not take any days off work. Is that what most women would have done? I don't know if I'm to blame for dragging this misery out.
I got in to see my doctor at the fertility clinic yesterday. I have like two pages of questions for her. I had decided I wanted a D&C mainly so the fetal tissue could be tested. I am desperate to find out why this continues to happen to me. She once again said it really wouldn't matter - the information wouldn't be helpful. I did ask about a placenta pathologist and she said that wouldn't happen. Maybe I faltered here in the meeting, because then she said that the tissue probably wasn't useable by now. I think she's frustrated with me. She just wants me to take the pills and get it over with so I'm no better off than I was a week ago. She is very much against a D&C saying it could cause damage to the uterus and cervix. She said once you have one, it can lead to more ie. they may have to do it again.
My head is just swimming. I asked about all the tests I've researched. Most have been done. When I asked if there were any number even just slightly off and not a huge red flag she said "no, just your age." I asked about some of the treatments I've heard about like asperin/herapin or prednisone, she said they were experimental and not medically sound. Sometimes so many statistics are spewed at me it's hard to keep them straight. I've read that your risk of miscarriage rises exponentially after 4 consecutive miscarriages. She is still telling me I have a 70 % of a successful pregnancy. I don't believe it especially since we don't do anything different or seem to investigate the causes. I can't keep randomly rolling the dice here. Anyway she says she's done all she can and she refuses to do anything "medically unsound". At the same time if I want it, she will refer me to another doctor she knows who she says will put my on a "cocktail" of unproven treatments.
Right now I have to deal with this miscarriage. How strange that the pregnancy I so feverently prayed to succeed ... I now praying to God to end naturally. If I don't do the pills, and if nothing happens on its own, my doctor has scheduled a D& C on April 26. Four weeks of walking around, hiding my sadness knowing my baby is dead. I keep hoping I'll wake up from this nightmare. I know there are women who can handle this without being the emotional mess I've become. I feel foolish for losing it and starting to cry with two colleagues. Maybe I should have kept it completely secret and just quietly use the pills on the weekend and not take any days off work. Is that what most women would have done? I don't know if I'm to blame for dragging this misery out.
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oh dear, it sounds like you are having a really rough time. i knew for about four weeks that our baby would not survive before having the d&c because she never developed a heartbeat. it was a rollercoaster for me, i almost thought i was acting manic depressive during this time. it was so hard to know what i knew about the pregnancy and still keep it from everyone.
i have to say i am just not impressed by your doctor at all. i wasn't there, and didn't hear her exact words etc., but first off aspirin and heparin for antiphospholipid syndrome is not an experimental therapy. second off, if she continues to put off the d&c the tissue will difinitely not be useful. my pregnancy went on for almost 4 more weeks after they found no heartbeat and they were still able to use the tissue. a karyotype of the fetus, if normal, will strongly indicate that further testing needs to be done on you. some karyotypes will show that you or your husband is carrying a genetic condition that will take perhaps 50% of your pregnancies. that would be important information to you, no? thirdly, i have read many, many, many sources that state a d&c does not make you infertile or more prone to miscarriage or damage your system in any way for reproduction. i'm a vet, so i have actually found myself in many of the same situations your doctor does. and it sounds to me like she does not feel confidence in her d&c technique and is talking bad about it so you will be expecting to have any bad side effects that she thinks she may bring about. sounds awful, but that's the impression i get from your discussion of her.
please go to the person who will "give you the cocktail", just to see what their take is on the situation. i will be very very surprised if they agree with your first doctor. i want so much to see you succeed. you have no idea. i just think you are being treated unfairly by a person who is perhaps trying harder to protect herself than she is to preotect you. if you would like to share info on what you've read and what to discuss with/demand from her, please message me.
p.s. yes, it's possible to need a second d&c. maybe you'd get some info by posting on the discussion board and asking how many have needed a second d&c. consider also that you may need a d&c after taking the pills, so what did you really save there?
pigtails
sorry that went so long, but i'm angry about the situation. i just wanted to add that i have read several sources that do say you still have a 50-70% chance of carrying a baby even if you have had 4 m/c, but that's everybody averaged together. other sources have given a bleaker outlook, but i did see this number she quoted you in several places.
pigtails
i think you need a second oppinion. & i wouldnt go to her "friend" id go else where. durring my miscarraige i went to two different hospitals. one was awful & the other was much more reassuring & explained more of my questions & what i wanted to understand than any of the doctors & nurses prior to that. a second oppinion never hurts, you can only gain.
SincerelyB