Trying to heal
June 5, 2008 10:55pm
Trying to find a new normal for the girls. It's weird, almost like pretending he's not here but will walk in at anytime. I used …
bluerose’s Profile
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bluerose
is feeling Bad
About Me
i am a part time customer service rep,a full time mom to two daughters,a sister to 3 women and a half person. i used to love to read and write in a journal. i am now a full time t.v junkie. i am also a part time wife. i am now an obsessive daughter to my dad,since losing my mom. i am a very good pretender/faker.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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THIS SUCKS!!!
May 20, 2008 11:23am
today just freakin sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad's wife called this morning and went to dial "D" for dad I hit Dave, when I heard …
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Journal Entry for May 16, 2008
May 16, 2008 8:08pm
I FEEL LIKE CRAP!!! MY HUSBAND OF 17 1/2 YRS WAS TAKEN FROM ME. I WOKE UP AND MY LIFE WAS TAKEN AWAY. HE WAS MY SOUL MATE. I FEEL …
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Journal Entry for April 14, 2008
April 14, 2008 6:29pm
Been a long time since I've written. I used to make time and now I just don't know where the time goes. I survived my …
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Journal Entry for January 27, 2008
January 27, 2008 12:21am
i replied to my own entry. what a dork. i'll get it...
I have lost over thirty pounds over tha last 3-4 months. I bought a …
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Hugbook
Hug
hugs and prayers as you face this day.... you are not alone, though i know you feel so.
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Prayer
it is beyond understanding. unlike you, i wondered every day if this would be the day. i realize the need for help in your fragile state, and, his Mom's, as well. please don't let something your heart tells you to seek, to be over run by the shock. you maybe just fine, but for me, i gave away things important to me at the time, and i regret it. you are held in healing light...
I’m With You
The same thing happened to my brother on Nov. 24th he went to bed, heart attack during the night killed him instantly, my sister-in-law found him the next morning. We never got to say goodbye. Then on May 4th my sister dropped dead from a bloodclot, I just don't understand they both were to young to die. I have to rememeber I'm not god I don't make the decision when he calls us home. I just have to trust in him ,keep my faith and beleive he knows what he's doing. I don't mean to preach but it does help with the pain somewhat. Just pray for yourself ask for help to ease the pain,your entitled to some self indulgence. It does help. I'll pray for you also. Your freind Bushy
Hug
Thanks for replying to my discussion "I'm angry at my mother" in the Motherless Daughters groups, it helped. xoxo -Jazmine
Hug
Just wanted to thank you for your comment on my "is this normal" discussion. I should know about grief, went through it 25 years ago but they say all deaths are different. And I hate it. Thanks for the prayer; I will pray for you too.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Parenti lost my mom 4 years ago in May. i can't move on or won't move on-not sure which. i am riddled with guilt. i am sad or mad always. no not always there are days i am numb. i think this is having an impact on my family. i can't look at pictures or talk about her. actually i refuse to talk about her. i am angry at her for leaving me. my so called friends and family think i should get over it already. how do you get over someone you didn't even know meant so much to you?
Treatments
- Prayer Too Soon to Tell
- not sure if this has worked, i am still mad. i am mad at god i think for taking her away. i hate "she's in a better place" i want her back with me.
Close Depression
i have not been medically diagnosed as depressed. i lost my mom almost 4 years ago and have lost myself--i put on the happy face and do what is expected. i take my kids to school and then come home and jump back into bed til i have to pick them up. i now have a part time job which keeps me busy--i sometime hide in the washroom and cry but am getting better. i still cry myself to sleep but still have no desire to the things i loved. i used to read now have no interest in it.
Treatments
- Prayer Working / Worked
Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)
i am mom to two girls, 15 and 8 3/4--b-day in may. they are pretty good kids. I am a married single mom. (it's gotten alot better in the last 2-3 years.) My daughter is a freshman at a school she didn't want to attend and started to rebel. bad grades and lying. i punish and yell and nothing so i gave it up. let her dad start chiming in. God forbid she thinks "he's the bad guy". she wants to be "emo" what the heck is this crap? ok no drugs no sex i can deal...i hope so.
Treatments
- Education (School) Somewhat Helpful
- went to school counselor and freshman dean for support. the deans checks up on her ocassionally.
Open Environmental Allergies
Type of allergy: PollenI have allergies, you name it mold, grass, weeds, pollen, trees,dust...but not dogs. That's weird. I don't have a dog though. I used to take claritin-doesn't work any more. i am now on zyrtec and flonase spray. The eyes are the worse cause i'm a hard contact wearer. Some days are just unbearable. I'm screwed if i can't wear contacts. I am almost blind in one eye.
Treatments
Open Breast Cancer
I have "fibroids" in my breast. just right one. I had a tumor removed when i was 16-about 18 yrs ago. i have since developed squamous cell on it about 3 yrs ago and had a lesion? removed. Now i have another lump. I used to notice more around period so blew off as fibroids which they said will come and go. well now it's bigger. I'm worried.
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Groups
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Snapshot
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