dumped's Journal

Saturday night comes again and I feel horrible. Maybe its not hormones, myabe I'm just totally screwed up. I know I should do something social but instead I've been downloading breakup and sad songs all day and yesterday too. I am so scared that I am heading for another depression where I can't function, can't do things. Its been about 4 years since the last depression lifted and I've been able to live normally. What the hell am I going to do? Everyone is having babies and already married. I told my dad this the other day and he said "its ok to be different, everybody's different". I feel like a complete failure. I am still too embarassed of who I am to do anything with the people from facebook and their husbands, kids etc. It makes me sick, why is this happening to me? I tried so hard, I've always had to fight for every little thing. And now I thought I found the one for me and he dumps me, im too fat, he doesnt love me anymore, im pathetic. Lying tome for years, and me all trusting and ridiculous. Its a jokr, im a joke. I feel things will never be ok again.