Beckeroo's Journal

Journal Entry for September 21, 2007 Mood

Friday, September 21, 2007

For all my dear friends here at DS....this may well be my most negative journal entry to date. So get a cup of whatever it is you like to drink and settle in, I am going to try writing therapy to see if I can straighten myself out. For two nights in a row, I have had very little sleep. Big deal, you say, who hasn't had that problem before? Well, I've had it plenty, but my problem is that with lack of sleep, on comes my depression, anxiety, dysautonomia, interstitial cystitis, CFS, IBS, and the list goes on. Everything goes down. The thyroiditis kicked in because the temperature went up. So, all systems are revved up and they are not allowing me to sleep. I just tried a nap, to no avail. I am dropdead tired and here alone, nobody cares, well.....now.....did some self-pity creep in? I hate that. Scratch that. So many of you have worse problems than me. By now, if you're hanging in there with me, you are sorry you are. But just let me say that this is why I don't write a lot of journals.....too many problems spill out and they end up being negative and I don't want that. A lot of people feel that it helps to write it all down, but with me, it seems to make me feel worse, like listening to myself be such a downer. But, I'm desperate, so I'm trying this again. If there's anyone out there with thyroiditis or dysautonomia that can give me the time of day, please, please message me....I sure need a little reassurance right now. Okay, enough is enough....please know I love you all, I wish you all a great day, and I pray for you nightly.

Beckeroo

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Comments

Fatigue seems to be a constant for us, doesn't it? And most people have NO concept of the kind of tired we mean. I owuld NOT wish this on my worst enemy, but I just wish that I got a bit more understanding. But, with the right Dr, it IS possible to feel better, although I have given up EVER being back 100%. I would be happy with 80! Just remember that you are NOT alone!

LynneC
Thank you, Lynne...it's really kind of you to reply to my vomitous report....things do get to me once in awhile, especially with very little sleep over several nights. You are right about trying to get more understanding...my family just gets tired of me being sick, although they are smart enough not to say so. There isn't much sympathy running around, though, huh? Maybe these are lessons to teach us how to be strong in our own right and stand up for ourselves. My family witnessed my own battle with CFS years ago....the worst case in our tri-state area according to doctors...and it has left it's mark, believe me. I'm still battling with the offshoots of everything it did to my body. Well, again, I thank you, and if I can help you in any way, let me know.

Becky

Beckeroo
dear friend...i just want you to know i am here for you...if you need to vent message me...i will try to be as helpful as possible .... you are a precious friend and person and do not feel that your problems/ illnesses are not important! they are! just as you are important ... i love you and care about you....i hope you will be feeling better soon :)

dolores1961