WOW today was a good day! the difference …
WOW today was a good day! the difference a phone call makes! I was able to get the prepaid collect calling put on my …
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Everytime I try to write something, I just end up crying. I'm not divorced yet, but I feel it's imminent. I feel helpless and unwanted because my husband just doesn't want to talk to me about anything he's feeling or going through. He's been talking to his old GF for several months now multiple times a day. Everytime he goes out, I know that he calls her. During our daughter's birthday party last week, he left the party for 40 minutes. When he came back, he said he went to BestBuy to see about getting a DVD for the kids to watch. But, the cellphone statment says that he was on the phone with her during those 40 minutes. We no longer have meaningful conversations, just polite chatter. He still tells me he loves me, but it almost feels like pity. We're still intimate and most times it's loving, but other times, it's robotic. And, not once has he asked me about how I feel or shown any interest in the fact that falling apart. He doesn't seem concerned that this is hurting me deeply. I'm terribly confused. Yesterday I told him that I had seen the cellphone statements with his multiple calls to the OW and I was so angry that I told him I was done with him. Later, he e-mailed me this note:
"Even if you're done - I'm not. I'm trying to get to a point where I'm in control of something; I'm not there now. I'm exhausted and frustrated and I can't seem to catch up. And I'm trying - I'm trying so hard to be a good husband and father and I can't seem to catch up with that either. I know that as long as I always come home to my family that I haven't given up. I don't want to talk - I don't know what I could say and I'll probably say something wrong. If you could reach down and find that you can just hug me at a time that I really need you to do so. I'll find where I am sometime soon.
I do love you."
Doesn't it sound like he wants to keep me waiting around until he decides what he wants? Nowhere does it say that he's going to end the telephone relationship with the OW. What I hate most about this situation is that I've allowed myself to become a person I no longer recognize. What happened to the stong, self-confident person I knew a few months ago? I would never have let any man treat me this way, so why am I taking it now? The worst part is he is deploying to the Persian Gulf in a few days, and things are going to be left up in the air for several months.
Thanks for my first hugs and flowers, and for letting me vent.
"Even if you're done - I'm not. I'm trying to get to a point where I'm in control of something; I'm not there now. I'm exhausted and frustrated and I can't seem to catch up. And I'm trying - I'm trying so hard to be a good husband and father and I can't seem to catch up with that either. I know that as long as I always come home to my family that I haven't given up. I don't want to talk - I don't know what I could say and I'll probably say something wrong. If you could reach down and find that you can just hug me at a time that I really need you to do so. I'll find where I am sometime soon.
I do love you."
Doesn't it sound like he wants to keep me waiting around until he decides what he wants? Nowhere does it say that he's going to end the telephone relationship with the OW. What I hate most about this situation is that I've allowed myself to become a person I no longer recognize. What happened to the stong, self-confident person I knew a few months ago? I would never have let any man treat me this way, so why am I taking it now? The worst part is he is deploying to the Persian Gulf in a few days, and things are going to be left up in the air for several months.
Thanks for my first hugs and flowers, and for letting me vent.
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I can totally feel where you're coming from. My stbx did the same thing, but would bounce from woman to woman, so there was always someone new to worry about.
If he's anything like my stbx, he has issues he needs to work through. He told me that "he doesn't know how to stop". he would promise and promise, but it just kept going on.
Deep down, you still are the strong woman you knew. It's a hurtful time and it's hard to make the decision to go when "it's just phone calls". And it's impossible to work on improving your relationship when it's only you trying.
My only advice is to use your time apart to evaluate your relationship to see if it's something you think you can fix or not. You are strong and will do the right thing. It just takes time.
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