stiimpee's Journal

Unbelievable!!! Mood

Friday, May 16, 2008 | A Venting story

Okay, this guy just really blows me away sometimes with his lack of sensitivity. Yesterday my oldest was outside playing with a friend. He comes to the back door to ask if they can come in. I said "sure, but do mommy a favor and pick up that cup by the swing set, okay?" My son replies, "Oh, Cameron left that outside when he was here yesterday." Who is Cameron? That would be my stbx's "friend's" son. Yes, he had the nerve to have her here at MY house while I wasn't home. I just about exploded. I called him immediately but got voicemail. Then I sent him a text that said "We need to talk because you have crossed the line." He calls back with an attitude and says "What?!" I was pretty mad, but managed to not say anything except state the facts. I said "I understand you had some company yesterday. I do NOT want her at my house. This is my personal and private space. When you are here taking care of the boys, you are with the boys. If you want to do something with her, meet her at your place or someplace else, but not here. It's disrespectul." He says "She wasn't in the house, they were outside. They're going out of town and I wanted to say goodbye." I repeated myself, "Then you meet her elsewhere. This is my personal and private space and I do NOT want her here." He says all pissed off like I'm out of line "FINE". I said "okay!" and hung up.

Yesterday morning before all this happened he sent me text that he wanted to take me and the boys out to dinner and for ice cream on Saturday night. I knew he would bail in the end because that's what he does. So I know better than to tell the kids so they don't get let down. Now that he's pissed off, as expected, he sends me text this morning that no go tomorrow because he has to work a double. But he wants to come over on Sunday to cut the lawn. So freakin passive aggressive. I responded (30 minutes later), "we might not be home". What I need to do is figure out how to cut the lawn myself. Like I really need one more thing to do!

Okay, call me crazy, but does anyone out there think what he did was okay? I mean seriously? What you do in your own space is one thing, but bringing your girl and her kids to what was our home to play in our backyard on our swing set that is for our kids? How can anyone think that's alright?

I think he's missing a screw or two if you ask me.

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Comments

That is really unfortunate. Is he just trying to get to you?

My ex gets the kids one single school night a week, and I found out she's been dropping our six year old daughter off either in the parking lot of at the end of the car line - one time IN THE RAIN. This is after she tells me she wants to be a bigger part of her school life and meet other parents, bla bla bla. Bottom line is - she does what she wants, and doesn't seem to genuinely care for anyone else - and in my case -this even extends to her own children. The point is - I cannot change her. It frustrates me endlessly - but I think the best thing we can do is SEPARATE ourselves from these people. Maybe look around for a neighborhood kid who would enjoy the extra summer spending money! The 10 bucks a week might save you tons of grief! Best wishes!

riverwalker
It's way out of line as far as I'm concerned. He should keep that life seperate from you. It's just rude and disrespectful. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.

SurvivingThis
hmm. I think it's out of line, that you are still not divorced and that was happening. But, in all reality, it's probably made you more mad thinking that the man you're still married to, and watching your kids, casually invites his friend over and your kids meet them. That's the painful part.
You should have handled it a little better minus the "fine" bs. that is childish which he is a child, and you should really treat him like one for your best outcome. Something like this, "now, honey, when mommy is gone at work, you should only let your boy friends over to the house, mommy doesn't like it when her personal space is disrupted." don't say ANYTHYING about it being disrespectful. He clearly has zero respectful bones in his body for you. Keep in mind, since this TOTALLY blew you out of the water, get prepared for more pschyotic behavior in relation to the children.
That's my opinion, but he sure sounds like a male version of cluelessness as I have to deal with.

JTGPP
The kids have actually met her and her kids a few times before. This was not the first time. And I asked him point blank when he did this the first time "If this is your future wife and the kids need to get to know her, just let me know." His reply? She is NOT my future wife. I'm never getting married again. (BS) My annoyance is that he thought it was no biggie to invite her to what was our home. That was just tasteless in my book. No class at all. JT: Your mommy/child conversation was a hoot. But I try to talk to him in a factual sort of way so he doesn't get his panties in a bunch. (which happens anyway)

stiimpee