Talked to my mom...
September 11, 2008 1:18pm
I talked to my mom and it was as bad as I thought and I had a breakdown just as I thought, it didn't kill me but i cut my wrist more then once …
Progress
55 %
cutieme4ever’s Profile
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cutieme4ever
is feeling Horrible
Everything is going wrong and I just can't take this anymore!!
About Me
This past july 21st I got raped by my 19 year old now ex boyfriend. I thought I could trust him yet now I know I can't. I thought he was a good guy yet now I know I was wrong. At first I blamed myself for ever trusting him and thinking he was a good guy but now I know that it was and is not my fault at all. Ever since that night I have not been the same at all. I'm depressed, upset, numb, moody, I feel like i'm a shadow on the wall instead of a person, I fake my laughs and smiles, I say and do what people want me to say and do. I'm living a life I don't even want to live anymore... Before that night I had plans for my future, life goals, I had a good life. All that changed... I have no idea what I want from life anymore, I don't have any goals anymore, and once that night happened my life came down with it. Everything I ever enjoyed, all my hobbies and interests, they have all changed. I'm not even interested in any of them anymore i'm not interested in anything. If I had one wish I would wish I could be back to my normal self and be with Alex the one I love (for more information, read my journal entry about him)
Interests
Right now I don't have any, the only things I do now is listen to music, sleep, watch tv, talk on msn, go on facebook, and go for walks.
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Recent Activity
November 12
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cutieme4ever updated their status 11:07pm
Everything is going wrong and I just can't take this anymore!!…
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Journal
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Going to ajax?...& update
September 11, 2008 10:35am
I have to go to Ajax tomorrow with my mom and her friend, I don't want to go but my mom isn't giving me any choice this time. My mom has to …
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Everything will work out
September 10, 2008 10:34pm
I have come to the conclusion everything will be okay, but there will always be bumps in the road and many still lie ahead. I went back over to …
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Having a bad day...
September 10, 2008 6:35pm
I am having a bad day...woke up at noon, had a shower, went online, then went over to Ron's. Well Ron was saying that Alex's mom's …
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I'm okay :)
September 10, 2008 12:41pm
I'm doing okay :) I'm happy to say that right now, yesterday around 4pm Alex showed up and he stayed there all day and we all hung out and …
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Rape
My name is Caitlin i'm 15 years old and on July 21st, 2008 I was raped by my 19 year old boyfriend. I have gone to the police and had a rape kit done on me, now the next step is for me to start the healing process. I don't know where to start or what to say except that I hate the way I feel and I wish more then anything in the world that i could go back to the person I was before.
Close Codependency
I wake up in the morning and think that if i wake up at a certain time or if i wear certain jewelery then I will see the guy i like. Just because the last time i woke up at that certain time or the last time i wore that certain pair of jewelery i saw him and if i wear it again then i will see him for sure again. If i don't do this i will feel horrible all day and think i will never see him that day or week .
Open Weight Loss For Teens
I am 15 years old going to be 16 December 9th, 2008 and the last time i weighed myself i was 140lbs. I am 5'5 and should be around 130lbs, i usually am 130lbs but every week i seem to either lose pounds or gain them i want to find a way to keep them off. I guess the fact that I don't eat proper meals and it's more of snacks throughout the days doesn't help and i eat unhealthy food a lot.
Open Children Of Divorced Parents
When I was barely a year old my father had left my mother, he was having an affair and one day when he was at work he called up my mom and told her he wasn't coming back. When I was 3 years old he started trying to gain custody of me and that's when it all started 9 years of family court, when I was 12 years old court was finally over and my mom had won custody of me i'm very proud of that, my dad is not the best father figure but i do miss him a lot...
Open Bullying
I have been bullied all my life since grade 1 to grade 8 and that really affected my schooling since I wouldn't attend school for weeks at a time or sometimes months. I am now in grade 11 or well supposed to be, because of all the bullying i have hardly any high school credits and i now have to go to a learning center which is great and i have to do grade 9 all over again.
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
- Talking to the principle and the vice principle even the teacher never seemed to work at all and it just made it worse then it was.Even talking to my mom never seemed to help since all she could do was talk to the principle.
Open Incest Survivors
From the ages of 7 & 8 every other weekend when I went to see my dad my 16 year old step brother would sexually abuse me doing everything except sex with me, i at the time had no idea what he was doing and he said it was normal and i believed him although he told me if i told anyone he would never let me see my mom again so i never told anyone. Luckily I stopped going to my dad's and never talked to him for 2 years once i started talking to my dad after 2 years he was out of his relationship.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- After talking to my mom about it when i was 12 years old and court was over she freaked and started crying and even when we talk about it now she is upset. but it helps me since we talk about it when i feel the need to.
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Snapshot
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