dadwithdjd's Journal

This is a prelude to "Austerity" which I will write later. It doesn't quite fit in any of my groups, so I am writing here.

We all know what shame is, but why do we feel shame? How did it become a part of our set of emotions and does it really serve a useful purpose?

At first thought, with shame, we tell ourselves that we did (or thought) something that is wrong. Or thought this in cases where it might not be true. We feel this emotion to, err, uhhh, not do it again? Really, how often does that work?

I had to write a report on a self help book for a psychology class years ago. It had to be so many words long (I forget the number) and every day late was a letter grade deduction. I chose "Your Erroneous Zones" By Dr. Wayne Dyer. The book had a chapter on feeling guilt, which I think is the same as shame within the context of the book. Dr. Dyer's position (as I understood it) was that this feeling of guilt serves no useful purpose at all, and he gave many points to this argument. But my thinking was that we need guilt to tell us right from wrong. So I wrote a paper that was about twice as long as required, and also a day late. I was happy with the A-.

I have seen Dr. Dyer on educational channels lately and I really don't like the guy, but that is a different story.

The vikings, conquistadors and other historical societies did horrendous acts. Do you think they even felt shame? There are groups on this site where people discuss things that they would be ashamed to discuss anywhere else. Now they have a chance to talk about what they do without shame, and I think it is very helpful to them.

There are socities that currently exist where they do things that we would consider self mutilation, but they think it makes them more attractive. But no one looks at you funny because you pierce your ears. At the same time, I know people who are totally disgusted with people who have tatoos.

Shame is probably related to the morals of the society we live in at this time, and this is something that is always changing. I am not saying that morals are the only trigger for shame. I really don't know. I call this a trigger, because I think shame comes from inside. But why?

I recently Read Emotional Inteligence (EI), which an excellent starter book on the subject. I don't recall EI discussing shame, but it does get quite deep into how the mind works and that our emotions have devloped over many generations. This is probably why I wonder how shame exists in our minds.

If anyone reads this, you are welcome to make a comment. I just wanted to get this out before writing about austerity (which stems from reading the Bhagavad-Gita).