carolinesharp's Journal

A New Beginning Mood

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 | A General Update story

I'm not quite sure how to begin, I'm not much of a writer, but here goes...

I'm so glad I found this site, it's just what I need right now. I've spent most of my life around gambling in some form or another....my Dad would bet with bookies at work, play poker with relatives, stuff like that...and my husband is a handicapper (horse racing). I've always enjoyed spending time at the track, playing cards...and in the last 10 years or so an occasional trip to a casino to play slots. But nothing prepared me for the mess I would make of my life when a casino opened within a 10 minute drive (5 min. from work) 4+ years ago....

It started off slow, I'd play a machine or 2 for about an hour, and then leave....usually with a few extra bucks. Then I started playing more machines, betting higher amounts....usually leaving most of the money there. Still not a problem, kids are grown, we have good jobs and a gambling budget. But within a year I started losing more and more....same old story, it's been told a million times before on this site....

And here I am now. I've been trying for over 3 years to stop going but I keep getting pulled back...I say to myself that I'm only going to play the free play I've received, or for a certain length of time...but something happens once I start playing. I can't stop. I can't just cash out and walk away. Hopefully the support I receive here will help me stay away.....

(There's a storm in the area, I'm afraid the power is going to go out....I'll write more later....)

Hug carol...

Send to a Friend

Comments

what you have described is the cycle of addiction. once we start, we can't stop....that is the powerlessness that we have.....doesn't matter if its free play, a 'certain amount of money or time', none of that matters......even with playing 'free' play, its not so free.....they get it all back and then some. Just take it one day at a time, 5 minutes at a time, whatever it takes to make sure that just for today, you don't gamble. tomorrow, do the same thing. Keep coming here, keep writing, keep reading, keep commenting.....we are all in this fight together. Its the fight of our lives for our lives. There truly is life after gambling, and we need each other to make it happen. It doesn't matter what stage or point in recovery we are all at, we are fighting the same fight.

welcome to the family!!!!!

hugs
Danya

Makmarie
Caroline, welcome. You have made a brave move and step in your recovery today - admitting that you are powerless over gambling - that it has you licked - this is when you gamble you can't stop but I am here to tell you some good news. The cycle of addiction is really strong, but if you want it enough you can break it - one day at a time. Here you will find other CGs like yourself walking the walk day by day working towards a lifetime of recovery.
I which you well in your journey and hope you join us. Welcome once again - you are not alone. Hugs Suzi

Auzgurl
Thank you for your warm welcomes!! This wonderful site has been a God-send to me....I have no doubt I'll stay strong with all your support and advice!
CS

carolinesharp
Welcome. You are not alone - and yes, we all share in the pain of this addiction and understand. It draw you back like a magnet. We all here here to help each other and support each other. I'm glad you have found your way here and have taken the first step to admitting you are also powerless over this uncontrollable addiction.

marle44
Hi Caroline,
My name is Julie and I am a compulsive gambler. I have been here on DS for about two months. I thank God everyday that I found this site. You will not find a more caring and compassionate group of people anywhere else. We are truly like family to each other. I know things seem overwhelming right now but with hard work you CAN beat this.
Welcome!
Hugs
Julie

searchingfor