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First of all, sorry bout the strange, badly spelled poem this morning...yeah I think it was morning. All I will say is that I wasn't on my own computer and had to save my rough draft somewhere and this journal is the only place I feel I can truly post things and not have a backlash. Thank you friends for loving it even if it wasn't finished...you stroke my creative ego till it shines. 
love you guys! Okay about me now...hanging in...I have a question for my friends that have SI'd or have dealt with someone who has SI'd...how do you deal with someone dear to you asking you why...almost demanding a why. And I don't know why...that is what I am searching for...so what do I say? I don't know is too vague. They won't read my journal or my poems...and I have a huge problem with vocalizing myself in coherent words. I get scared and restless...and words just jam up in my throat. So what should I do?
love you guys! Okay about me now...hanging in...I have a question for my friends that have SI'd or have dealt with someone who has SI'd...how do you deal with someone dear to you asking you why...almost demanding a why. And I don't know why...that is what I am searching for...so what do I say? I don't know is too vague. They won't read my journal or my poems...and I have a huge problem with vocalizing myself in coherent words. I get scared and restless...and words just jam up in my throat. So what should I do?
Comments
Heaven has opened up
A gate releasing a flood
Of emotions and feelings
Erasing guilt and shame
Forgiving past mistakes
To be left in the dust
Leaving a spirit to twist
In the wind abjectly
Twirling and ripping in two
Fraying at the edges
Till the moment is born
Where acceptance is realized
You are the only one
That knows the truth
You alone are strong
Capable of facing harsh truth
Darkness lives inside
Only strength can prevail
Truth must be faced
And accepted on fact
Delve deep, face the pain
Realize the reasonings behind
All your actions till this moment
Lay yourself bare
Accept your critisim
Explain your actions
And reasonings if need be
Show them the blood
Trace the scars
Allow someone else
To see the past
As you have seen it
And pray they don't
Lock you up
For your beliefs
And the way you feel
Or judge you before
They know the whole
Story that is still being
Told to this day
One way is right
Any other way is wrong
Tolerance is not taught
Only learned through pain
And death of innocence
Is becoming too common
Where power has become
The leading reasonings
For war and conflict
Give up and give in
Show them that death
Is not the answer
Blood is tears
Tracing a path
Toward destruction
Where nothing is savagable
We won't stand for
Anymore, can't take
It forever
Don't you want peace?
Do you know what tolerance
Means...
What is freedom?
Do you deserve it?
Haven't you fought for it?
Remember your rights
What we were founded on
Freedom...what does that
Mean to you
Is that where we are headed
I don't think so...
The path ahead looks dim
Dark and dreary
Is this the one
That you want to follow
Or do you yearn for a change?
Living a way that speaks
Through your blood
Leading to a trancendence
That everyone longs for
And harm comes to no one
I pray with shaking hands
Where did we go wrong?
Were we so mislead?
Isn't their God our God?
Who are we to say
How to believe in
Something that gets
Us through, makes sense
Leads us to believe in hope
Teaching us faith
Swallows the night
Leads us into the light
Towards a place where
Happiness can be real
And finally dreams
Can be solidifided
Why isn't tolerance
The reason for us
Why must we conquer
Dominate their religion
Refuse to accept
Their beliefs
Learn from their ways
Is stupidity inherent?
Open up, release...
Please come on
Are you afraid?
To find the flaws
In your written laws
Or is learning only
For those under
The age of eighteen
And the world is open
Within your boundaries
Comments
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I bow to. Its beautiful, and yet so true.. Hugs Tami
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WOW!!!! I am speechless!!!!
How can I feel so down myself and still want to give hope to others? I wonder sometimes...Am I really this loving or is this a charade? What is true? Words spoken to me in a moment of anger or a moment of passion? Why don't I know me? Why do I not know of hidden secret passions or the stark reality that demands to be noticed everyday? I don't know...I am so confused....will you help me please? I know I am not the best friend that every one wishes for...but to all my friends I love you all and wish you happiness like you have never experienced...but am I am lovable? Am I worthy of someone noticing me....
Comments
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Yep, you are my friend. In a way more now than ever.
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you are sssooooo worthy. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up that I just now read this. I've been self-involved. If you still want my friendship, I'm here.
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Past Entries
Write a letter. I stutter when I get nervous. My kids have asked the why question. I say it helps when things get bad in my head. When the pain gets to big to handle, I cut to let it out. I told them I was working on finding other ways to deal with it. But, a letter works well, for me anyway. I'm way better with the written word. :) Good luck!!! HUGS!!!
readerjewel
Wow ya'll, I don't even smoke around my grandkids!! Don't want to give them ideas, ya know. Yea a letter is good, accepting if they don't show it to anybody. I always say, don't write nothing down you don't want some one to know. So Tink, point out the flaw in the law.
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And lol, go fix your spelling, goodness gracious!! ;)
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