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Journal Entry for June 15, 2007 Mood
Friday, June 15, 2007
First of all, sorry bout the strange, badly spelled poem this morning...yeah I think it was morning. All I will say is that I wasn't on my own computer and had to save my rough draft somewhere and this journal is the only place I feel I can truly post things and not have a backlash. Thank you friends for loving it even if it wasn't finished...you stroke my creative ego till it shines. Laughing love you guys! Okay about me now...hanging in...I have a question for my friends that have SI'd or have dealt with someone who has SI'd...how do you deal with someone dear to you asking you why...almost demanding a why. And I don't know why...that is what I am searching for...so what do I say? I don't know is too vague. They won't read my journal or my poems...and I have a huge problem with vocalizing myself in coherent words. I get scared and restless...and words just jam up in my throat.  So what should I do?
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Comments

  1. readerjewel

    Write a letter. I stutter when I get nervous. My kids have asked the why question. I say it helps when things get bad in my head. When the pain gets to big to handle, I cut to let it out. I told them I was working on finding other ways to deal with it. But, a letter works well, for me anyway. I'm way better with the written word. :) Good luck!!! HUGS!!!


    readerjewel

  2. scratch

    Wow ya'll, I don't even smoke around my grandkids!! Don't want to give them ideas, ya know. Yea a letter is good, accepting if they don't show it to anybody. I always say, don't write nothing down you don't want some one to know. So Tink, point out the flaw in the law.


    scratch

  3. scratch

    And lol, go fix your spelling, goodness gracious!! ;)


    scratch

Journal Entry for June 15, 2007 Mood
Friday, June 15, 2007

 

 

 

 

Heaven has opened up

A gate releasing a flood

Of emotions and feelings

Erasing guilt and shame

Forgiving past mistakes

To be left in the dust

Leaving a spirit to twist

In the wind abjectly

Twirling and ripping in two

Fraying at the edges

Till the moment is born

Where acceptance is realized

You are the only one

That knows the truth

You alone are strong

Capable of facing harsh truth

Darkness lives inside

Only strength can prevail

Truth must be faced

And accepted on fact

Delve deep, face the pain

Realize the reasonings behind

All your actions till this moment

Lay yourself bare

Accept your critisim

Explain your actions

And reasonings if need be

Show them the blood

Trace the scars

Allow someone else

To see the past

As you have seen it

And pray they don't

Lock you up

For your beliefs

And the way you feel

Or judge you before

They know the whole

Story that is still being

Told to this day

One way is right

Any other way is wrong

Tolerance is not taught

Only learned through pain

And death of innocence

Is becoming too common

Where power has become

The leading reasonings

For war and conflict

Give up and give in

Show them that death

Is not the answer

Blood is tears

Tracing a path

Toward destruction

Where nothing is savagable

We won't stand for

Anymore, can't take

It forever

Don't you want peace?

Do you know what tolerance

Means...

What is freedom?

Do you deserve it?

Haven't you fought for it?

Remember your rights

What we were founded on

Freedom...what does that

Mean to you

Is that where we are headed

I don't think so...

The path ahead looks dim

Dark and dreary

Is this the one

That you want to follow

Or do you yearn for a change?

Living a way that speaks

Through your blood

Leading to a trancendence

That everyone longs for

And harm comes to no one

I pray with shaking hands

Where did we go wrong?

Were we so mislead?

Isn't their God our God?

Who are we to say

How to believe in

Something that gets

Us through, makes sense

Leads us to believe in hope

Teaching us faith

Swallows the night

Leads us into the light

Towards a place where

Happiness can be real

And finally dreams

Can be solidifided

Why isn't tolerance

The reason for us

Why must we conquer

Dominate their religion

Refuse to accept

Their beliefs

Learn from their ways

Is stupidity inherent?

Open up, release...

Please come on

Are you afraid?

To find the flaws

In your written laws

Or is learning only

For those under

The age of eighteen

And the world is open

Within your boundaries

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Comments

  1. CheatedHeart

    I bow to. Its beautiful, and yet so true.. Hugs Tami


    CheatedHeart

  2. readerjewel

    WOW!!!! I am speechless!!!!


    readerjewel

Journal Entry for June 9, 2007 Mood
Saturday, June 9, 2007
How can I feel so down myself and still want to give hope to others? I wonder sometimes...Am I really this loving or is this a charade? What is true? Words spoken to me in a moment of anger or a moment of passion? Why don't I know me? Why do I not know of hidden secret passions or the stark reality that demands to be noticed everyday? I don't know...I am so confused....will you help me please? I know I am not the best friend that every one wishes for...but to all my friends I love you all and wish you happiness like you have never experienced...but am I am lovable? Am I worthy of someone noticing me....
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Comments

  1. scratch

    Yep, you are my friend. In a way more now than ever.


    scratch

  2. readerjewel

    you are sssooooo worthy. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up that I just now read this. I've been self-involved. If you still want my friendship, I'm here.


    readerjewel

  3. readerjewel

    I always feel like such a hypocrite when I'm down and go around giving hugs and hope.


    readerjewel


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