grandmapenny's Journal

nov 28,o8 time 12;30 pm on thanksgiving i had my whole family here all except one very important person was missing. my son-inlaw ronnie who passed away june 4 from cancer.this was our first without him.his wife tryed to be brave but we all new it would be hard. we all missed him so much,i had everyone to tell what it was about him they rembered about him they liked.he was a man everyone loved dearly.they was nothing he could not do.had talant beyond any one would of guess.i have all his pictures on my wall around my com and talk to him every day.we were so much a like in so manny ways. he was a wonder person so kind and loving its harsd to really know hes gone but i know life goes on.some times i can feel his present in my room.at nite /well my hubby isnt getting any better, i dont know how much longer he can wholed on,but when god says it time then he will go be with ronnie so he be happy to see him.ok thats all for now  granny

well here i am again its 3 oclock in moring cant sleep to much on my mine and having troun ble breathing when i lay down so throught id write in journal.i said before i was sad and had a lot on my mine.i am worryed BOUT MY HUBBY HE IS 75 YEARS OLD AND IS VERY  VERY SICK. HE CANT REMEMBER THINGS OR SAYS THINGS THAT IS JUST NOT HIM.HE IS A PREACHER BUT SINCE HE ALMOST DIED FROM SHINGLES HE CANT GO TO CHRUCH AMORE.HE CANT HEAR.AT ALL.I CANT LEAVE HIM ALONE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT HE MIGHT DO.ME MY HEALTH IS GETTING WORSE AND I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN KEEP GOING.I CANT WALK ACROSS ROOM WITHOUT SITTING DOWN AND GET MY BREATHING UNDER CONTROL/MY LEGS ARE GETTING SO THEY HURT SO BAD TO WALK BUT I HAVE TO TRY TO KEEP GOING FOR MY FAMILY SAKE.AND TAKE CARE OF MY HUBBY.

well its sep the 9 and im sitting here crying again.my mine is so full of things that im sad about and worryed at the same time.first the sad things.today is my daughters birthday pam strevels.and she didnt want any fuss made because her husband died a little over 3 months ago and this is her first birthday withouy t him. but i always made her a cake and i did today and got her a card,i will not let her close everyone out that loves her.i know she is hurting and i am to.after he died  to days passed by and i had gone to bed.and i felt like i was t rocking or swinging ronnie and i sing alot together and talked.but anyways i felt like i was swinging and it  scared me i throught something else was wrong with me.on the third nite,i didnt sing instead their was a shadow in my room.it was my son ronnie telling me that he and my son billie was ok and that billie was with him. well i havent had no contact with him sinceand i really miss him.i have all his pictures on my wall in my bedroom where i stay most of the time and i look at them and talk to him. it helps me  gives me some corfort.