BUCKEYES1's Journal

Oh my gosh! My pain is so high right now, I am miserable. Today was a good day at school. The kids were well behaved (of course everyone is good on the first day of schoo, right?), it was a positive atmosphere, and lots of smiles. But boy did I forget how much ENERGY teaching requires. Right after homeroom I could tell it was going to be a long day. The pain was kicking in and I was already tired of keeping on my "game face".  It's not that I'm not happy, or don't like my "job".........it's just that it's difficult to smile and be positive all the time when I'm in constant pain.  When school was over I had a lot of students from last year come to my room to tell me how much they miss me. I also had a couple old students that started high school today email me and say they missed me. So, that brought a smile to my face and made me think about me being a teacher. I know that's what I was born to do. I know I make a difference and am a good role model fro these kids. But, if they knew half the stuff I'm going through on a daily basis they would probably tell me to stay home and take care of myself:-)  I did feel excited and ready to be back in the classroom at some points today. I honestly do love teaching. I just miss having the energy to do it easily. It also makes ya think when you meet 7th graders that are going through so much; death of a parent or parents, abuse, neglect, losing their hearing, poor, hungry, or alone. It breaks my heart and makes me appreciate the life I am living......pain or no pain!

Well, I am exhausted and want to go to bed. I haven't written in my journal in a long time. It feels good! I miss my friends so much on DS. I pray for them daily and think abuot them all the time. I just feel bad that I don't have the time to chat or keep up with everyone. 

Well, hopefully tomorrow will be a successful day when I meet the 2nd half of my students:-)

~Jenn

Haven't written in a while. Things have been so crazy around here. I made a "To Do" list at the beginning of the summer and don't you know, I put everything off until the last minute. But, I finally got through everything today since school starts tomorrow.  I finally got all of my pictures organized, I re-potted all of our plants, cleaned the house, worked on lesson plans, finished my book, and got a wonderful massage! And of course, my head is pounding!!!!! I know, I pushed it too much today, but.......I had to get the stuff done. Once school starts, I will be too busy.

Speaking of school, this is the first year I'm not excited to go back. By this time in the summer, I'm usually ready for the school year and pumped about getting back into my classroom. This year is different. I think I'm more nervous and scared that my pain is going to take over.  It requires SO MUCH energy to get through a school day. Working with 7th graders and their raging hormones makes for an interesting day as it is, let alone, dealing with chronic pain to go along with it.  I love the kids dearly, they keep me going. However, if I don't have a smile on my face or if I'm not "bubbly" all the time, they ask tons of questions. 

I have so much to do in my classroom. I don't have one poster on the wall and I'm in meetings for the next couple of days.  Looks like I'll be staying late to get my classroom looking good. At least my plants are ready to go!  I just hope and pray that I can get through this year. I'll take one year at a time. I just can't imagine not teaching. It is my passion and a dream come true! I do not want this pain to rule my life and take anything away from me.......like my "job".  Well, it's not really a "job" for me.....obviously I'm not in it for the money! ha ha

Well, tomorrow's the first day for teachers. That means I have to go iron my clothes and get to bed early. I hope it's a good, low-pain day!

Peace and teacher work days grease!

AHHHHHH, here I am, it's 4:00am, I am exhausted  yet can't sleep. Am I paying for having a good weekend with my family?  Why am I having such a long, high-pain week this week?  This is rediculous.  I cannot stand leaving my husband in bed while I come out on the couch to "try to get tired again" when all I want to do is snuggle up next to him and sleep like we usually do.  My eyes are burning and I can barely hold them open. WHY CAN'T I SLEEP????  AHHHH, I can't wait to see my sleep study results.

Well, atleast I can catch up on the Olympics:-)

Going to watch those a while and then go back to bed. Wish me luck!