ManOrMonster's Journal

After all this time,

All it takes

Is one look into those eyes.

And I'm in that same place,

A hundred years ago,

A hundred steps ago.

And I look at how far I've come,

But somehow, it's not the distance,

Not quite the distance I once saw. 

And it kills me.  It strings me up,

And it cuts my wrists.  It feeds me pills

and deprives me off your kiss.  

It lets the blood pour,

And the tears fall.

But these arms remain soar.

And I never get your call.

I long for you ella.

I long for you in this lonely heart of mine. 

Ring Ring RIng

Is there nobody in?

Looks like no-ones

there.  I wish there was.

If only it was at the door,

waiting for my ring.

Get up off the floor,

i've come prepared,

I promise.  All my things

are here and there waiting

for you to take them.

So take them!  Take Them!

If only you would come to the

door.  You would let the

light flood my mind and

that cruel place disappear.   

Please make it go, take

my things.  I can't hold this.

So have it for heavens sake!

These arms are buckling under the weight.

I can see them tearing.

I see them bleeding.

So why don't you just rid me of all this hate?

Oh how I wish you would come.

There's a glistening glow

dragging through the

keyhole.  Please, let it be so!

I beg you!  Can't you see

these bands soaked full

of blood?  I forget, you've

forgotten how to see red.

If only you could this place,

maybe then you'd be here with me,

instead of just in my head. 

So leave me out here,

after i've pressed the button,

and climbed those slippery

steps.  After all, I've come all this way,

But I don''t think I'll stay. 

Whats an end worse

than death?

A life without you?

Take it.  Take what you've

left.  Take the rest!

I can't bear to have it.

I'm left only with this dungeon,

And the chains are so

very horrible.  They scar

my wrists, and then they

scar my soul.

And then there's the meals.

Oh the food!  They feed

me tablets and pills,

and they keep me alive.

But how I wish they didn't!

How I wish they give too

much.  

So please take this dungeon

You've let remain.  Take

the scars and the anger

and the rest.  How dare

you strip this shell of all

it was worth!  You were

the only light, glistening

through that rusty keyhole!

Alas!  You only came to see

me on the good days.  You

came when the blood had

gone dry, and the cuts were

covered up.  

Oh, the days you missed, oh Marcia!

The days you missed!  Why

didn't you come to see me?

Perhaps to spare yourself

the agony?  Were you afraid

to see what this place

has done to me?

But all the time, I took the

due appologies.  I took your

pleas of desperation and

I never talked of them again.

But it's my turn!  Its my

Turn, oh Marcia!  Take

my words!  And start the

healing of these scars.

Take these words before

I take the mouth that speaks

Them!

You had the strength to

break the lock!  But instead

you let my key drop!

And as the light flees and

my blood poors, I think

to myself, I wish

I was with it too.

For what's an end worse than death?

Life without you.