JUNY's Journal

 My goal a month ago was to become a happier person. I was doing  quite well after I started taking the anti-depressents then I got sick again this time with Bronchitis. I had to spend a lot fo time on my own, being sick on your own for the first time is quite distressing. Yesterday I found that my family are taking a short holiday together and haven't been included! I thought I was going to be and it devasted me when I was told. It would have been something to look forward to instead it made me realise that I'm now on my own and can't expect to be included in everything they do. I thought my heart would break when my son said he didn't think of it when they booked, talk about shattered! I cried so much I thought I'd never stop. Felt guilty after telling him this and breaking down on the phone so he had to come round and see if I was OK.

I don't think the anti depressents have done anything for the past couple of days as I feel so down and feel like I'm going backwards. Now we have to decided what to do with Tonys ashes, and that upsets me a lot. If only I could start to feel healthy again I'm sure I could cope better. Still wonder what keeps me getting up each morning!! Have to find a point to life and start looking forward otherwise I'll end up a very lonely old lady!