BrknBrdges’s Profile
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BrknBrdges
is feeling Bad
Thought yesterday was the end of the world, but here I am!
About Me
That is my favorite picture that I took of a sunset on the pier of my cousins house on Lake Livingston. Don't have a clue where to start or where to start getting information on a dis-ease, that I was just formally diagnosed with. It sucks waking up one day and you are 40...2 days later you have something you never knew you had and maybe or maybe not could have done anything about. ^^^^^I am separated due to family violence for the umpteenth time!!!!^^^^^^ MOre often than not, it's me starting the chaos. In any event, I can't stand the mood swings. They happen VERY frequently and with no warning. These cyclic occurences that people/psychiatrists/specialists say happen....happen to me at least 20+ times today. I am a MAJOR Mixed Bipolar person and nothing is helping. Crying doesn't, yelling doesn't, hospitilization doesn't, groups don't, being with family doesn't (like they care anyway), and feeling suicidal doesn't help a damn thing but make me even more depressed because what would happen to my daughters!!!!
Interests
I don't have any at the moment. Have my head stuck in this computer trying to figure out everything and am not able to. Dealing with an A%^&%^&*^*& of an ex husband who has custody of my youngest and would use all this as just another thing to use against me....that really isn't an interest, but my 2 daughters are even if they don't see it. I am just doing what people tell me not to do and get so wrapped up in the negative...but its hard when you've had a nervous breakdown. Wish I had my husband, I'm scared and lonely without him.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Hugbook
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How are you girl? Here's some lovin' huggles. Call me!
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aa in texas under support group
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Prayer
I truly hope things are getting better. Thinking about you & praying for you.
Hug
THANX! Much needed - God that is
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Hug
Noticed you were feeling bad and maybe had a bad day yesterday. Hope you are well and have a good day today. Thanx for the hug. I needed it more than you'll ever know.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Been recently diagnosed w/ mixed bipolar disorder. In fact 2 days after my 40th birthday,what a happy it was. I'm saying "I" a lot, it's due to attention. Used to have a lot of it. A friend told me they still see that same person who is on the inside that I don't see. Made a lot of sacrifices for others in my past, what can I do about it now? Nothing. All I can do is live day to day...and that is very difficult, esp just finding out it could've been treated a long time ago...w/support.
Treatments
- Depakote Too Soon to Tell
- don't know?
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- definitely working and don't want it to end.
- Lamictal Too Soon to Tell
- don't know?
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- seems to be calming me down during manic episodes.
Close Alcoholism
I am an adult child of a long line of alcoholics. The one thing that I am having the hardest thing with is coping with my brother's death. I was the designated driver that night and after everyone got home, I turned all the lights out. My brother got his keys and left. I begged him not to go but he said I love you and have your number right here in my cell phone. http://donnybracht.tripod.com the whole story in one site. But that's just one story of many.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Working / Worked
- just started
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- just starting
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a RelativeI lost a baby in my 7th month who still doesn't have a headstone. I got pregnant 3 months later w/my youngest daughter just to have my youngest aunt die the same day I emailed her the picutures of my daughter. My dad (the abuser, cheater, and alcoholic) happened to have an AED devide with batteries that day on Dec. 24 2004. And the final straw that broke the camel's back was my eldest aunt dying from nonhodgkins lymphoma after a long hard battle. She was the one who I trusted and talked to.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Getting Angry Not Working
- Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- Keeping Busy Too Soon to Tell
- Remembering Not Working
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Talking Working / Worked
Open Codependency
I am not sure what this is but am planning on learning about it real soon. I was just told that I needed to real a couple of books on the subject.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Too Soon to Tell
- Celebrate Recovery Too Soon to Tell
- CoDA Not Working
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Too Soon to Tell
- Pets Working / Worked
- Bought a puppy that I had when I was 3 yrs old. He's a peek a poo! Very Cute
- Reading Too Soon to Tell
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionDepression one minute and mania the very next. Wanting to slice and dice your wrist one minute or take a bunch of pills and then the next being so ticked off at the world for making me like this only showing me clues along the way...but not really getting it til now.
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
Open Family & Friends of Cancer Patients
My uncle passed a while back so I really didn't know the suffering he went through, but I just had my aunt pass away 3 minutes after I called her house. She had been suffering a long battle with nonhodgkins disease. She was one whom I could talk to about everything...now she's gone and I feel very lonely.
Open Family Issues
Was involved in a dysfuncitonal family until last night after a broken thumb and major contusions. Before that...broken toes, fingers, nose, WWF style throws off of porches which ended up with a charge and conviction on his part. Stupid me gave in after divorcing him and married him again for what...more abuse. My dad also abused me physically and mentally. My ex's all abused me when they drank alcohol...one even threw me through a wall where you could see the studs! I just need support!
Treatments
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
- ????
- Family Therapy Not Working
- didn't work
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I tried! Focus on the word "I"!
- Talking Not Working
- not!!!
Open Child Support & Custody
My controlling bipolar ex from 1298 to 2003 always got his way. Still does in fact. When I moved to Alabama for my mother's health reasons he got the house back then no child support, then went back and got child support from me! He is a thorn in my side.
Treatments
- Humex Working / Worked
Open Breakups & Divorce
Been involved with a man via codependency for about 5 years now...2 of which were great while he was in prison. The first two were horrible due to all his affairs, cheating, family violence with broken bones & lacerations, swingers groups, trying to pick up undercover hookers! But after I divorced him the first time he said he was sorry &and I believed him. I supported him & it was great while I had all the control&he had none. I forgave him & we remarried while he was in TDCJ.Then no bliss.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- didn't work...not together anymore he moved out
- Family Therapy Not Working
- didn't work he moved out with all his trashbags after breaking my thumb in front of my 8 yr old and telling my 13 yr old to run away and call 911
- Forgiveness Not Working
- Never did help. Says I didn't want to change but was working on it. I forgave him of all he did to me. I was the one who was torn and crushed...not the other way around.
- Leave Too Soon to Tell
- Filed a protection order with the DA's office and they took it. The constable's office are real jerks!
- Pets Working / Worked
- Just bought a new peek a poo....he's so cute...after 32 years I get the same one that I had when I was 2!!!
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Have a great counseling support group here and wouldn't know if I'd make it without them.
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- I won't be letting him back into my life...to volitile of a relationship....but I am sure he will try to stalk me at some point in time.
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