Journal Entry for April 22, 2007
April 22, 2007 5:02pm
I've been forgetting a lot and losing things in the past six months or so. I only buy cheap sunglasses and reading glasses, but now I can't find any! …
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fruitcup’s Profile
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fruitcup
is feeling Horrible
About Me
I was diagnosed with atypical depression in 1981, a year afer my father died. I have been on Nardil -- a MAO inhibitor for 27 years --I have only tolerated it because it has proven to be the only drug that works for me...albeit maybe 80%. I live with the curse of clinical depression every day, and know there's a genetic element to it, but I frequently say, "Why me?" But worse is that it rears its ugly head severely sometimes, and I become immobilized and can't get anything done, so my house is a mess, my mind is a mess, and my memory gets bad. I can't even concentrate on work, and I am a freelancer. I have no one to fall back on . Help!
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Hug
Hi Randi, Just to let you know I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling. Today I was feeling on edge all day, tried to keep busy, sent out a couple of resumes. Going to take out one of my dogs for a walk, her name is Muffin, she's a Yorkie. I have five dogs, they keep me busy. How's Puccini? Thank God for their company. Hope you have a peaceful night, hugs. Lee
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Hug
Thank you for the flowers, yes, I'm familiar with the Serenity Prayer. Sorry you felt lonely last night, I have experienced those feelings, especially since I am home all day alone, and my husband is working. Besides the fiancial aspect of being out of work it's also not having any other human contact. I use to have a friend that lived in the city and had a studio apartment, and I remember how small it was. I miss living in Queens, we had an apartment, and everything was so convenient to get to. Please try to get some rest today, yesterday I took a Xanax and I slept most of the afternoon. I try not to take it to often but yesterday I needed one. Hugs to you! Will keep in touch, P.S. - What is your name?, mine is Lee.
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Hug
Hi, Happy you found some work. This hasn't been a good week for me, everything is starting to get to me. I want to get me life back. Right know it's stagnant, I would like to move on but I can't. What get's me is not so much the interview, it's the waiting after when they say they will call back by a certain time, and they don't and I feel so down. Someone told me about the book called "The Worry Trap" I was going to check it out. Sorry about the taxes, it's always something. I had to take my dog to the vet, and the bill came to $270.00 for just her yearly shots and some meds to help calm her with the fireworks tonight. I'm going try like you to have a restful weekend, and tell myself I did all I could do in the job search. Please take care and keep in touch! Hugs
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I’m With You
Hi Fruitcup, your right about this being a slow week because of the holiday. Just trying to feel good about myself and not such a dissapointment to myself because I don't have a job. Trying to keep focus on the things I do have. You brought back memories when you mentioned getting on the subway, I haven't been to Manhattan since January. Most of the jobs I answer our out here in Long Island. Well please keep in touch. And try to have a relaxing 4th. Take care. Lilyhope
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Flower
Just to let you know I'm thinking about you. How's the job search going, not to well here just sending out resumes. Had an interview this week, but they didn't call back, so I guess I didn't get it. Just keep on trying. Please keep in touch! Lilyhope
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I had my first panic attack in 1978 when my vacation to Acapulco coincided with a new doctor (not a psychiatrist) told me I may have a brain tumor! Without explaining that if I had it, it would be pefectly benign and operable, I left for my trip and had my first panic attack; couldn't breathe, felt like I was choking; was dizzy; and afraid I would die. Well, 25+ years later, I'm still here. In 1981 I saw a psychopharmacologist (a psychiatrist who specializes in psychoactive drugs...
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Helped my daytime anxiety to subside and take "edge" off, but not cure-all for attacks or depression because it's only an anti-anxiety drug
- Breathwork Not Working
- Made me MORE anxious. Couldn't take a deep breath without coughing.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- Only use to help me et to sleep at night, as antidepressant has side effect of stimulating me...except during the day, when it makes me sleepy!
- MAOIs Working / Worked
- MAO inhibitor, works on serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine. Old drug w/many possible drug interactions, foods you can't eat
- Lamictal Working / Worked
- Mood stabilize added to Nardil. Did not help.
- Depakote Working / Worked
- Mood stabilizer added to Nardil. Did not help.
- Trileptal Working / Worked
- Mood stabilizer, tiny dosage. May help hypomanic state sometmies.
- Parnate Working / Worked
- Another MAO inhibitor. Attaches to adrenaline. Made me feel like I had ants crawling under my skin. Took a few days to go away. Terrible.
- Prozac Not Working
- Went very high on dosage but I still could only lie in bed and stare at ceiling, eating only white food (bread, ice cream) because I was nauseous all the time.
Close Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female
Type: Genital HerpesBoy, do I understand you. I got herpes 29 years ago when I was 19. I'd never heard of it. Was on vacation in Puerto Rico and met a gorgeous soap opera star who swept me off my feet. I have frequent outbreaks, from eating too much sugar or from having intercourse alone! Tried every med and none prevents outbreaks. I've told fewer guys than I should have but felt I protected them by insisting on condoms. Herpes has killed my self-esteem, and 'tho I hear EVERYONE has it, I still feel like a leper.
Treatments
- Valtrex Somewhat Helpful
- But not helpful enough to warrant putting a drug into my system. Probably need higher dose than allowed.
- Zithromax Not Working
- Nada.
- Zovirax Somewhat Helpful
- The topical kind, gives me some relief. The oral kind, didn't do much.
- L-Lysine Working / Worked
- Helps a lot, but not fully. IF I take 1000 mg daily and don't ever forget, it prevents a "few" outbreaks. Definitely worth taking.
- Zovirax Not Working
- Nada.
Open Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Started periods at age 9--now 51--diagnosed w/PCOS at 40 after years of periods up to 78 days and GYN putting me on fertility drugs to ovulate. The way for diagnosis is by transvaginal sonogram (ultrasound). If PCOS, 1 or both ovaries will not be normal shape. Cysts around border of each ovary (not same as 1 ovarian cyst). GYN will check blood for various hormones.This is only way u can know for sure if you have PCOS. YOU ARE THE CONSUMER. Nurse may take vital signs. but that's IT.
Treatments
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