Starting to see
July 25, 2008 2:06am
I am starting to see some things.
A couple of things have happened over the last little while that have caught my attention and made …
Progress
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Marc1961’s Profile
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Marc1961
is feeling OK
About Me
I am a father of 2 young teenage boys. I have recently separated from their mother after a long period of unhappiness. I've heard the call to 'grow up' and am here to learn more about myself, others, and healthy relationships. I develop software for a living.
Interests
Walking, Cycling, Photography, Writing, Reading, Movies, Traveling, Learning New Things, Java Software Development *PLEASE NOTE* I do not wish to befriend any women, I am here to work my stuff and heal.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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I am a complete arsehole
July 21, 2008 8:27am
Only an arsehole would do the things that I have done.
I am so filled with shame, sadness, and regret that
all I can do now is go to sleep
and …
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Lies and Shame
July 21, 2008 1:02am
I hurt my friend today by lying, not once, but twice, I lied to cover a lie.
The origins of the lies where based in fear and anxiety on my part but …
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Good Luck
Good Luck with your journey, alot of SA suffer from low self esteem and use p/m as a form of escapism. You may be fighting the urge at the moment, and that's great, but be aware it can rear its ugly head at any time. Stay strong.
Hug
You are very welcome. Know that my prayers are with you.
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Photos
Marc1961 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
As a child, I was made ward of the state between the ages of 3 and 7, I was then dropped back into my family with a single mother who did not now how to emotionally connect, I grew up with none or poor relationship skills having no model, male or female. I've just come to realize that I use manipulation and control to get what I want. I use anger and silence to control others who are not meeting my needs, its horrible and destructive and I don't want to be that way any more.
Treatments
- Divorce Working / Worked
- Separated from my wife and am waiting for divorce. My relationship with my boys has markedly improved. I have discussed with them about my behavior with them on this issue and have made myself accountable to them if and when it happens again
Close Sex / Pornography Addiction
I was addicted to internet pornography for more than 12 years while I was married. We have recently separated and the behavior has stopped, I'm not saying I am not an addict but the pain I was feeling in the marriage must have been some kind of driver. I want out of the porn forever, I think I know what the triggers are and would appreciate some support.
Open Breakups & Divorce
Marc1961 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Seasonal Affective Disorder
Winter is very hard for me, I love the light and long days because I am such an outdoor person and I love doing things with others, when its winter, cold and rainy and no-one wants to go out, its hard to motivate myself to go out cause it means being on my own. so I get lazy sleepy and fat in the winter, bring on the sun
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Friends
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Snapshot
Marc1961 hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give Marc1961 a hug?
