Ambivalent mother bonding, power, CSP and trich
July 31, 2008 5:51pm
I did not personally start pulling out my hair until about 5 years ago, at the age of 23. I have been a skin picker since I was 10, though, and …
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ellen80’s Profile
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ellen80
is feeling OK
I have a spot on the left side of my head creating pressure on my brain that I am so tempted to pull from!
Recently: 5 journal comments, 2 discussion replies more …
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Thankya! I'm here too, if ever you want to talk!
I’m With You
i'm with you and understand your post completely.
I’m With You
Your welcome. If you ever need to vent or talk,I'm just a click away ;-)
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Thanks so much for your kind words!
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Thank you. I hope she read it. I am doing okay. I have good and bad days. I try to remember that I can start my day over anytime I want to, and that seems to help.
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Support Groups
Close Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: TrichotillomaniaI get zits on my scalp, then search endlessly for the hair that is "causing" the zit. It's about removing the blockage that is causing negative fluid/emotion from pooling up. Except I feel helpless to "unplug" my emotional blockages, therefore pulling hair is a symbolic sustitute.
Close Abstinence & Celibacy
I'm a 27 year old virgin. I believe sex before marriage is not how God meant it to be. I'm getting pretty stinkin' horny though!
Open Family Issues
My mother was very controlling when I was growing up. We were EXTREMELY close most of the time, with a few of her abusive rages mixed in. When the time came for me to separate and grow up, she resisted it, disparaged it, I felt guilty and controlled, and I haven't spoken to her in about 5 years. It is unreal the degree of ambivalence I feel towards her. Cozy memories combined with murderous rage.
Open Anxiety
Conciously, I'm not anxious at all, in fact I'm usually bored and lethargic. But I pull my hair out so obviously something's bothering me. Must be subconcious.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Acne
I have breakouts on my face, back, chest, upper arms, and upper thighs. I also compulsively pick at my skin so I have lots of scars. They're not real deep, more like little white dots. I'm very self-conscious about the zits on my back and the scars on my chest (breasts). I feel like no one would want to love me or touch me this way. But my face is really not that bad, so if anyone ever did decide to love me, I feel like I have a bad surprise waiting for them, and they deserve better.
Treatments
- Benzoyl Peroxide Working / Worked
- Proactiv Not Working
- Washing Working / Worked
Open Families & Friends Of Addicts
It seems as though all the men I fall for will never love me more than their alcohol/weed, etc. The place of solace they already have far exceeds whatever I could give them, and it's hard for me to believe in my own worth in the midst of being devalued by those I care for. They, of course, tell themselves they're not hurting anyone but themselves.
Treatments
- Celebrate Recovery Working / Worked
Open Breakups & Divorce
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Loneliness
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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Recently …
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- 2 discussion replies
- 1 advice reply
- 5 journal comments
