avalon2416's Journal

Sheesh.

It's occurred to me that there will be no more excitement in the bedroom for as long as I'm with him. Seriously. Strickly vanilla with a hint of roughness. That's all I get these days and that's all I will get. But I love him more than sex so I deal with it. But I'm not really happy. And it's not like I'm expecting the rough and tumble kinky stuff out of nowhere. We've always had intense grown up time (as I like to call it) but nowadays I'm more frustrated than anything. No threesomes, no videos, no photos, no roadhead, noanything out of the ordinary. Seriously. I'm not happy about this at all. I wanna scream.

And why? Because he screwed up. He cheated and did these things with other women and it haunts him so I have to suffer. I may sound mean, but I'm not the one who cheated so why do I have to suffer? It's really not fair. But this is what I have to deal with if I still want to be with him. Sometimes I wish I didn't and that's pretty effed up.