sunshinside’s Profile
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About Me
I come from the picture-perfect family, but somehow I couldn't seem to create one for myself. How could that be? I became overwhelmed with a feeling that my parents hated me, and hating myself. I sought help and started to look at my past. The first thing I remembered, and it was very foggy, was being molested by my mother... then the flooding started. Raped by my father, molested by my grandmother, a victim of pornographic photography at the age of 4 or 5...the horror was almost unbearable. They were not so perfect after all! Then I realized how strong I must have been to excel in school, have fun with friends, and keep up the perfect image that was demanded of me. I've been searching my coping tools (the same ones I used back then) to get me through this: drawing, playing, working, spirituality, nature, prayer, acting as normal as I can and being appreciative of my friends... I'm terrified, but am working day by day through these very new realizations. I'm really thankful to have found this forum. Its very positive, and that helps. peace!
Interests
art, fun, play and parties. Health, spirituality, prayer and meditation. living day by day and cultivating compassion.
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Recent Activity
Yesterday
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sunshinside and fordygirl are now friends 4:41am
Wednesday
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sunshinside and Kristen70 are now friends 11:06pm
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sunshinside and TexasGuy are now friends 10:57pm
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sunshinside gave TexasGuy a Hug 10:21pm
Your posts are insightful. Thanks for sharing.…
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sunshinside gave fordygirl a Prayer 10:10pm
I know I'll be where you are someday. Now I am just working my way through the weeds. Prayers for guidance…
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Journal
sunshinside hasn’t written any journal entries yet. -
Hugbook
Flower
Grace - thank you. That is often my prayer. I want grace to deal with whatever situation comes my way. I feel like, as long as I have grace, I can be serene with anything. :)
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Hug
i hope things work out for you too....just remember to stay as strong as you can, they cant take that away from you. Best of luck and thank you
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Hug
Guinea pigs I think we are I agree--yikes! Thanks for the hug, I added you as a friend and hope all is well with you. I'm in a terrible place in my life although God may say it is a gift-not sure how I am going to handle finding a place to live AND cutting my family off so I can do some recovery. Please say a prayer for me that I am protected and safe. (hug) Thank you ~Kristen
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Hug
Thanks for the hug and send one your way. I could relate to a great deal of your story. Flooding can be real tough. Thanks for the support, and I offer the same to you. :)
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Hug
hey there sweety, I hope tyhings are picking up for you even if it is only 5 minutes out of the day. I promise we will win this fight against hopelessness.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- Identifying emotions is hard for me, but when I look at my art they can become much more obvious...esp underlying triggers. We have used my drawings as a tool in EMDR therapy and it has been very helpful.
- Effexor Somewhat Helpful
- Tried this years ago before my C-PTSD diagnosis. It wasn't right for me. It did help me stop weeping everyday and helped the comments from my emotionally abusive partner roll off my back, and eventually helped me leave. But it made me shop obsessively (I bought a dog a house and a car...not small things!), do lots of home improvement projects, have a total lack of focus at work, and neglect paying bills on time. I wouldn't take it now, but it did help me with a major hurdle then.
- EMDR Working / Worked
- This has been truly amazing, and I started out very skeptical. I never knew my mind was made of such layered complexity. It is hard work, but it helps every time.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Finally, with a therapist who really empathizes, I have begun to feel safe to release what I have hidden away.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Always. Finding this site and reading for an hour lifted me out of a slump today.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Oh yes...my wonderful friends hear so much from me now. I'd be lost without them. Thank God for the big ears and hearts of the people in my life. :)
Close Sexual Abuse
I'm not sure I can tell this story yet...still trying to learn it myself.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- see ptsd
- Leave Working / Worked
- far far away
- Talking Working / Worked
- see ptsd
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
Open Single Parenting
sunshinside hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Amnesia
sunshinside hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 9 hugs given
- 8 hugs received
- 2 discussion posts
- 6 discussion replies
- 1 advice reply
- 1 group discussion post
- 3 group discusson replies
