cappaccino's Journal

Day 9

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Into Day 9, yesterday was a pretty good day, had my first one on one meeting with a counsellor at the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba. It was good to actually talk about my problem with someone, I am very private and do not discuss this with anyone, so it did feel good to get out some of what I am feeling. Made an appointment with a financial counsellor to help determine if I can work out a repayment plan on my debts or if bankruptcy is a better option. Have to also get another job fast and I have to find a place to live in the next month or so, alot on my plate, but staying depressed will not help me to get back on track. I do realize that I alone have dug this hole and only i can get myself back out. I will do my best.

Hug cappa...

Send to a Friend

Comments

Welcome Dale, hi, my name is Robin and I'm a compulsive gambler. I've been in recovery for almost 9 months, it feels good, I'm very grateful to be gaining a new insight into who I am. It truly is a one day at a time lifestyle. I'm so sorry things are not working out between you and your wife. Please focus on the things you can change. Being out of work, separated from your wife, dealing with the financial disaster you've created, all these things are bound to make you feel anxious, sad, mad, hurt and many other feelings along those lines. It's weird, but I'm at a point in my recovery where I'm actually able to recognize how I am feeling at any given time. I use to always feel unworthy, not good enough, down, really down all the time. It's as if I wouldn't allow myself to experience any feelings beyond self-loathing. My feelings of self-loathing were in full gear when I was gambling. I truly hated myself. Today is so much better, I'm beginning to like me. I suppose everyone has something different to deal with on the road to recovery, mine just so happens to be that hating myself thing. I guess what I'm trying to tell you, is no matter what, let yourself feel the sadness and pain associated with your gambling addiction, then let it go. Remember not to beat yourself up over the past, focus on today, what you can do to make things better today. You're gonna' find a lot of support on this site. We talk about everything here! It's fun, it can be very emotional, it can be sad, happy, angry, we talk about it all here. So join in :) Be good to yourself, I'm gonna' add you as a friend, hope you accept :) Robin

Moyer
You have already taken some important steps on your road to recovery. Cudo's to you for getting past being private so you could share with the counsellor. Hope the "financial " situation improves for you . I have found that dealing only with today has helped me. As another member on this site pointed out for me I cannot change yesterday and tomorrow may never come so today is all I have and I will make the best of it and just for today I will not gamble.

gbaygirl
Dale, you are moving forward, and with slow, methodical steps every thing in its own time will get taken care of...look at your immediate needs, work on each one, and then work on the rest..Like I always say, One problem, one solution, move on to the next....
Here, you will find that we talk about everything..things we are feeling, how we used to feel, etc....it helps to get things off of your chest, and out of your head....one of the hardest things for me in the beginning was to learn forgiveness...not for others, but for myself. I had to stop beating myself up for things that I had done, and get down to the business of day to day, one day at a time recovery.....

Just for today, together, we won't gamble.

hugs
Danya

Makmarie
You are making great strides my friend. Just keep dealing with each day as it comes and do the next right thing.
Hugs,
Julie

searchingfor