gooster32's Journal

I was raped at the age of 8.  I knew the person very well.  He was my grandfather.  It kills me everytime I say it.  My own grandfather.

My parents went out on a date and he was there to babysit.  I went upstairs to get some crayons and he met me in the hallway and I remember him hugging me for too long, and when my older brother came up the stairs, my grandfather ran back into his room.  The way he hugged me made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn't think anything of it.  He's me "PaPa."  Well about 15 minutes later I went up into my bedroom to get some paint, and he was in the room.  I thought it was weird, but he always did weird things.  And without getting graphic, he raped me.

Later that night when he was asleep, I went downstairs to talk to my parents about it.  My first attempt failed, I got so scared to say anything, because the man who did was my fathers, father.  I didn't want to make my dad mad.  So I made up a story about a bad dream.  I went back upstairs, only to return again.  I eventually told my parents  that Papa touched me 'down there' and I didn't like it.  I wasn't strong enought to tell them the whole truth. It wasn't until last Friday that they knew it all. 

My Mom blamed herself and so did my father.