only 20
July 28, 2008 11:47pm
i'm only 20 years old and my health has gotten so bad that i can't even continue my job. i love what i do, it takes a great toll on my …
nancejewell’s Profile
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nancejewell
is feeling OK
i'm so ready to start this class and get the job!!
About Me
i'm 20 years old and have bipolar diorder; ocd; anxiety; self mutilation; rape; emotional, physical, sexual, and drug abuse. i also have pcos, an ovarian disease, insulin resistance, and degenerative disc disease. i have been dealing with A LOT since i was 13 when the doctors first began to take me seriously and they began to run test on me to see what was wrong with me. i take several medications and a daily basis and live in mental and physical pain each day. i constantly have doctors apointments out of town. nowbody around me or that i work with understand that you don't really have to be 90 to ave the problems of a 90 year old. all of my doctors say that they don't understand why i have the problems that i have. i turned 20 in december and i'm recovering from my second back surgery, i had it in june. i was finally able, with the help of several of my medications, to get a job. but i HAVE to work full time in order to get insurance...and i HAVE TO HAVE insurance. even with it i pay btwn $200 and $300 a month for my medicine and i have no idea how much on doctor visits each month. i still live at home with my parents because i can't save any money paying for my problems. there are many days that i can't get out of bed or that i can't stay awake to get home from work. no one around me understands me, not even my doctors. i hope i can find some friends on here that will understand me and that can maybe help me. i'm only 20 and i'm liveing like a crazy 80 year old. haveing to depend on people and never knowing what's comeing next. i just want to be a normal 20 year old 'young' woman! life's hard enough at 20, without anything else on your plate.
Interests
i love love love photography and scrapebooking. i like to edit photos and i would one day love to own my won studio. i like hanging out with my family and a couple of my friends. i love to swim, when i'm in the water i can float away to a world where everything seems perfect, even if only for a moment.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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i need my medicine!!!
July 19, 2008 9:49am
i so so so meed my medicine!! i've been out of one of my bipolar med for almost 2 wks and don't get to go back to the doctor for almost …
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Hugbook
Hug
Sorry to hear that your not feeling so well. Hope things get better. I am ok today just having a little IC pain. ~hugs~ Have a great week!
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Hug
How are you doing? Hope that you are well. ~hugs~
Hug
A New Support Group For Abuse Survivors http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
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Hug
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. I know how you feel. I am sure things will get better soon. ~Smiles and big hugs~
Flower
For you sent wiv loads of love...
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
- although it works much better for me when the people in my family dont go around and read it and then use it against me.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- im trying really really really hard to be positive about life but man is it hard for me. sometimes i feel like my whole world is falling down around me and all i can do is sit here and watch it colapse.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- i have a couple of cousins with some of the mental health problems i have but im not close to them so we never get to talk about anything. im lucky if i get to see them even once a year.
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- so far it has helped. it has helped with my physical pain as well as with the depression side of my bipolar.
- Trazodone Not Working
- it worked great for a little while but then i started haveing horrible nihgtmares so they had to talk me off of it.
- Ativan Working / Worked
- helps a great deal with my anxiety. i was able to get a job and actually go to work each day. if i miss a dose of it i can def. tell this is one i make sure i keep in my purse so i never take a chance of not having it. there were a couple of times i had forgotten my medicine and i couldnt go to sleep without it.
- Tegretol Working / Worked
- this has helped me with my anger. now im able to thinkg befor i blow up as easily and if i do blow up its not as strong or as severe. im able to thinkg more rationally most of the time.
Close Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
i was diagnosed with pcos when i was 13, i have been told i have deformed breast and that they didn't grow correctly. i have A LOT of pain with it and i have ended up in the er many times because of it. i'm the youngest person in my city that has been diagnosed with it. all my drs are out of town, bc none of the drs here know how to treat it.
Treatments
- Aldactone Working / Worked
- this has helped a lot with the oiliness of my skin and hair.
- Metformin Working / Worked
- the pcos has caused insulin resistance so i have to take 1000mg twice a day. it keeps my blood sugar under control really well.
- Oral Contraceptives Not Working
- i still rarely have periods and when i do they are VERY painful and they have lots of cysts in them and i have ended up in the er many times. i don't think the bc is working...
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Relativevalentines day 2001, i was barely 13. i lost my best friend. she was like a sister to me, we spent EVERY weekend together lived next door to eachother for a long time and called eachother every afternoon once she moved. she was my cousin. it's been 7 years and i still have trouble talking about it.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- i do this a whole whole lot!
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- i staid this wa for a long long long time!! they put me on tegretol to top off my anger.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- they just pissed me off when they told me to suck it up and deal with it.
- Helping Others Somewhat Helpful
- it's somewhat helpful because i hate hearing i know how you feel whenthey haven't ever lost anybody. and i can honestly say i know, because i've been there...i am there!
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- it makes it harder to think about it. but you have to eventually sop to rest, and it hits me like a ton of bricks all over again.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- it helps a little
- Poetry Working / Worked
- this helped me a lot, but when people would read them they would freak out on me, so i stopped writeing
- Prayer Not Working
- i got mad at the world and turned my back on God too. i prayed for a little while but when i got angry i stopped.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- been there, they said suck it up. i said bye bye...
- Reading Too Soon to Tell
- i'm trying to fingure out this grieveing thing
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- i never want to forget, but i don't need to dwell on it anymore.
- Scrapbooking Working / Worked
- i do this a lot. it helps me becaus i can look at it and study my memories but do something constructive with my time and memories.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- they all think i should be over it by now, at least be able to deal with it by now, and i just can't. i don't know how.
- Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
- i'm tryin another one out.
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- i've only been able to bring it up in the past little bit. i'm tryin it out
- Time Not Working
- it's been 7 years, how much time does it take??
Open Back Pain
i have degenorative disc disease. i've had two surgeries so far and i'm only 20. i hurt all the time!
Treatments
- Bedrest Somewhat Helpful
- i was on bed rest for a long time b4 this one and even longer b4 the last one, but i've still had 2 surgeries
- Carisoprodol Somewhat Helpful
- it helped while i had it, but it kept me out of it
- Chiropractic Adjustment Somewhat Helpful
- bought a little time b4 i had to have surgery
- Darvon Not Working
- it worked b4 my last surgery but after surgery it didn't do anything for me.
- Epidural Injection Not Working
- had this once...will NEVER do it again unless i HAVE to. it was HORRIBLE!!!!!
- Flexeril Too Soon to Tell
- i'm taking it after this surgery. it's helping a little bit
- Heat Somewhat Helpful
- temporary relife
- Hydrocodone Somewhat Helpful
- helps some but keeps me out of it
- Ibuprofen Somewhat Helpful
- helps a little, keeps me off the hard stuff
- Morphine Somewhat Helpful
- the only thing that helped me make it throught the ight after surgery. i didn't sleep but it took the edge off.
- Naproxen Somewhat Helpful
- helped some
- Physical Therapy Not Working
- did this before my last surgery, it just bought time
- Relaxation Somewhat Helpful
- i do this as much as i can, but it still comes back
- Stretching Somewhat Helpful
- sometimes it's the only thing that gets me through the rest of the day and sometimes i can't stretch at all, it makes me feel like i'm dying
Open Anxiety
i've always had anxiety issues. finally somebody figured out that's what it is and is treating me.
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- i take it 3 times a day. i can't go without it.
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- i do this a lot to get me through that moment in time if it's a little thing...
- Lexapro Not Working
- didn't work for me for long so they took me off of it
- Paxil Not Working
- made things worse
- Positive Thinking Too Soon to Tell
- yea ok, i try, i'm trying...hard
- Trazodone Somewhat Helpful
- worked very short term....caused bad nightmares
- Xanax Not Working
- had the oposite effect on me. i was out of my mind
- Zoloft Not Working
- made me a lot fatter and made me think bad thoughts
Open Depression
i've been fighting depression for most of my life. i remember being a very sad little girl.
Treatments
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- seems to be working as of now
- Lexapro Not Working
- made things worse
- Paxil Not Working
- made things a lot worse and made me tink bad thoughts
- Positive Thinking Too Soon to Tell
- i'm trying
- Prozac Not Working
- made the thoughts worse
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- i got tired of professionals telling me to suck it up and deal with it
- Trazodone Not Working
- caused nighmares
- Writing Working / Worked
- seems to help me a lot. as long as people don't go behind me adn freak out over what i wrote.
- Zoloft Not Working
- caused weight gain and negative thoughts.
Open Sexual Abuse
i was mulested as a young girl and i was raped and beaten. i haven't really delt with any of it or talked to anybody.
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Snapshot
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