Sunday
7/20/08
So i cant write long, just wanting ot check in.
I talked to my ex today, she is starting ot get a bit pushy, she wants a friendship, and …
is feeling Bad
I am at home, all alone, trying to focus on homework...
I am 18 years old, i am starting my final semester of high school, and i am struggling with my present and past, and finally my future
soccer, reading, vampires, energy work, magic, blood, other kin, the occolt...
7/20/08
So i cant write long, just wanting ot check in.
I talked to my ex today, she is starting ot get a bit pushy, she wants a friendship, and …
I started to pull hair in 6th grade because of a very hard and ostrisizing transition. and all through middle school...then in 8th grade i hurt myself for the first time...and then i spun way out of control in about a year. I had bad insomnia, and i cut all day long, every day. i was hospitalized, and then things went "great." i was on meds...and all. but i saved them and was going ot od that june...but i didnt, and then a bunch of shit happened that next school year, involving food obsesions...and my cutting came back...and i started getting anxioty attacks...so themn i was put back in the hospital...and then i was put back in after a week out...and then i went to treatment in utah...for my magor anxioty and depression disorders...and the i got back from that last august...and then i cut again...in december...but it didnt count...so on march 12 th i had been a year w/o it...but then in april i fucked it up and started again...for bout a week or two it ws almost as bad as b4. and then i "stopped" only cause im scared someone will see...so i am here to try and get help...maybe let out some steam...or get some real clinical help...if need be...cause its all i think about anymore...
I used to cut alot...and it is getting worse and worse again.
I have an anxioty problem...acctually disorder...and it is interfearing with my life
I have never adressed my issues around eating, and how I feel about myself only because my self harm and depression were "greater" priorities to everyone else. I have had on and off issues around eating, fasting, binging and purging, and exsessive excersising for about 3-4 years now. The main issue would be about not eating, and how I only feel whole, when im empty.