Journal Entry for June 30, 2008
June 30, 2008 11:15pm
OKAY! NO MORE SMOKING!
NOT WHEN IM STRESSED, NOT WHEN IM HAPPY AND NOT EVA AGAIN!!!
this is gonna hurt!
GraceLovesCass’s Profile
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About Me
my name is Grace (GrayCE) and i am Lesbian and proud! i have a Girlfriend, Cass! apart from Cass i love Music, Animals, Insects, Fairies, Flowers and Rain! my life a bit of a mess but you sometimes get that and i just have to hang in there i suppose! :)
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Journal Entry for June 30, 2008
June 30, 2008 9:44pm
CASS JUST CALLED TO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND TELL ME SHE LOVED ME! I FEEL HAPPY NOW!
PS. ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!
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Journal Entry for June 30, 2008
June 30, 2008 9:29pm
i feel strange today! i dont get to see Cass and i havent seen her for 'bout five days! i just want to hug her! i miss her so much when shes not …
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Hugbook
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Hey girl!! Noticed you haven't been on here in a while so I wanted to check on you to see how you were doing? Great I hope! Much love and hugs!!
Hug
HI..how are you and Cass doing? just thought i would give a hug and say hi..I hope you have a great week..take care Dee
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thanks for the hug :)
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How ya feeling?!
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Hey - thanks for sending me a note - I greatly appreciate it. I am not exactly sure why I keep getting these deliberating headaches, I guess a combo of fibromyagia and CFS - I wish I could go for awhile without them - Thanks for caring - you have a good 4th of july and take care. Hope u are feeling well.
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression - Teen
my lifes fucked and if it wasnt for my girlfriend i would be dead by now! my dad has cancer, my mum is a drug abusing bitch and everyone expcets me to be fine and pick them up when they fall! but how can i help them up when im on the ground too?
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- i couldnt live without music.
- Pets Working / Worked
- i love my cat so much he hugs me when i need to be hugged, he listens when i talk, and i know he'll never tell anyone anything i tell him!
- Writing Not Working
- i have 12 different journals and still feel shit... what more can i say about that method?
Close Smoking Addiction & Recovery
i know smoking is going to kill me but thats not why i'm trying to stop! i'm trying to stop so that i wont die when there are people who love me trying to help me! i dont really care if i get sick and die but someone else will!
Treatments
- Willpower Not Working
- I've tried but its just easier to smoke!
Open Gay & Lesbian Teens
some people tell me i made a bad choice but i didnt really make a choice. this is just who i am! i'm a lesbian!
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
all my life ive been abused, either physical or emotional! it first started with my mum and dad fighting and dad leaving mum would always take it out on me afterwards she didnt realise word could hurt and really didnt care if the cains and belts did! i suppose i was never confident with myself and just became the ultimate victim. people bullied me and harrased me for years until in my first year of high school i struck back, at my peers, my teachers, my mum and myself. my mum is still a problem!
Treatments
- Forgiveness Not Working
- how could i possibly forgave those people for everything they did to me? they made me feel like i was worthless and unwanted! i did try forgiving but i just couldnt! those people left scars to deep and cant be forgiven!
- Group Therapy Not Working
- i went to one session, didnt speak and then went home and fought with my mum as usual.
- Leave Working / Worked
- getting away from a situation is the best way for me to relax. as long as i can get away a wont blow up and hurt someone. only when i cant leave will i do something uncalled for!
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- most music calms me!
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