andres912’s Profile

Close Anxiety

My partner and I met in our late 20's and after achieving financial security, my partner thought that we should have kids, i was not too much into it at first but decided to go along. We applied to foster to adopt throught the state we live in. Anyhow we shortly after got 2 kids, 1 and 5 years old.It was a great life changing experience, but short lived, the court decided to send them back to mom. I was sad but my partner was devastated. He loved them as his since day one and made the most of their stay, i believe we touched their lives, specially the 5 year old. Shortly after they left, my partner was asked to go to India for 6 weeks for work, he accepted and now he is over there. (left a week ago). He recovered and although still miss them, he was ready for another try, in fact we were notified of 2 more kids just a few days before he left but we declined, since he is the main cargiver i thought i was not up to the task to start all over on my own so we decided to wait until his return. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder 3 years ago and being on Paxil on and off. The most stressfull thing was my job, it is very demanding but i enjoy it overall, specially if knowing that i am functioning well. Now since my partner left, a week before actually, i started having this intense worry attacks, all these bad thoughts keep coming to my mind, that i will never see himagain, that we will get sick in India, that he will get mugged, that we will never have the family we wish for (specially him) so on so forth. I refilled my Paxil before he left which i had not taken (needed) in over 6 months, and hope the episodes will decrease; but they have not. I keep in contact through our cell phones, the service is overall very good but not perfect. I have been worrying myself every day, even after i talk to him, i am fine for a few hours and then back to worry over and over, the worst case scenarios. Even at work, and then i wory that i will make mistakes at work. I have been calling him almost everyday, last time yesterday and here i am staring at the phone today forcing myself not to call once again.I don't tell him that i am this worried because i don't want to worry him; he needs to concentrate on his job. So i need a healthier way to cope and reassure myself taht all these rather silly worries are just that silly. Sorry for being writing this much, but i needed to.

Treatments

Paxil Working / Worked