Dinkerbell's Journal

Well, here I go again! Passing yet another one of many kidney stones. The last two day were very good days pain wise. I was even able to work in my actual office, a nice change of scenery. I went out lunch with the Jim, the kids, my mom, dad, brother and niece yesterday. That was really nice - and very unusual. Afterwards Jim, the kids, my niece and I went out to do a little shopping. I hate to shop but I had a really good time being out and about the family. On Tuesday, while in my office, Jim and I started talking about somethings we both want to get done around the house and yard. It always seems like something is going on and we can never get done the things we want to. We had our house built 8 years ago - right before I was diagnosed with chronic kidney stone disease, hyperparathyroidism & sponge kidney. When we had the house done we decided we would finish the downstairs to be like a big family room. We had the pipes run  & capped off to build a bathroom, we had a huge bay window built in but never had the time to get to it. Jim was always working or running me back & forth to the doctors, hospitals, specialist or Maryland to see my new docs. It just seemed like it wasn't the right time to be getting into projects. We had started it when we first moved in but I got sick shorty after that and we never really went back to it. Well, as we were talking on Wed we both decided now was the right time. I am hoping to be able to help. I used to love to get into projects and get my hands dirty. Hell, before I got sick I used to wotk in the warehouse of the family business, using machines and building floor sanders, now I do the office wirk - how boring! I hate not being able to get into things anymore. I seemed to be having more good days mixed in with the bad so I am really going to try to do what I can, when I can. The most important part for me, I think, is not getting myself down when I am unable to help. I have to just do what I can & realize that the pain will come on and I will have to stop, but I also have to realize the pain will also go away and when it does I can get right back into helping the family. We are also going to paint the kitchen & dining room, finally, I can't wait. I have had the colors picked and known exactly I wanted to do in there for years. I am so excited. See, this is the first year Jim actaully gets paid in the summer from his full-time job. He is Dean of Students in a high school. Usually he would only get paid from his part-time job and self defense classes he would teach. It was ok but not enough to get into projects. Today was a really bad day pain wise for me, I almost had to go to the ER last night so I was unable to help today but I am hoping I can pass this stone fast and I can get back to helping out around here. Besides, I think this could be real good for me mentally - if I am able to get into theses projects with the family. And on some days I think the mental is worst than the physical. Who knows, maybe this is what I need to start feeling human again.