karrame's Journal

for starters let me say that i'm sooo exhausted...lol!

so i think that it's about time to move on up in the self esteem goal. i think that have this little one is making me a total different person. i don't think about all the crap that dickhead put me through... i think about her and what she needs... and how i can make the relationship grow and turn out for the best... i don't want to be just another statistic(i think that's how you spell it)

so many people tell me that most relationships that start out young with kids.... they don't make it past the child's age of 5... i don't want to be that person... i don't want to put my lil willow maree through something like that. i want her to have absolutely everything and much more. she's my world:D.

i want to stay with my boyfriend forever. he's so good to me, and sometimes i see myself treating him like dirt. i'm so paraniod, and he says he understands... but am i abusing him because i'm scared of abuse??? i don't want him to go anywhere.... he's my every thing:D and i don't want him to leave me. i would leave him if he was a paraniod ducebag... what makes me any different...

but on to happier things.... so as of last night my self esteem boasted about 5%. i keep telling myself that i wouldn't wake up with her. i was so scared to go to sleep... and when me and james went to sleep, like two hours later she was crying and hungry... and i got up... yay! for me:-)