some relaxation success
July 18, 2008 11:46pm
This vacation was all about doing nothing, on purpose. Hang by the pool, not think about restrospective, introspective...any …
Progress
10 %
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notfound404’s Profile
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notfound404
is feeling OK
home and feeling yucky
About Me
Bipolar and anxiety. I went to a shrink at 30 and said 'I have all I want and I still feel like crap'. I did the path of therapy and pills, so many pills(My online pill screen must light up like a christmas tree). ADDH? DESPRESSED? Cocktails for both? A very painful 8 years. FINALLY a Bipolar, Rapid Cycler diagnosis. Seems to fit best and the drug stratagies are working MUCH better than ADDH or Depression alone. NO SILVER BULLETS, but better. At least I have a chance for peace now where as before I was just lost, and sad and angry and completely out of control. I still can be. I have accepted this as something I get to manage the rest of my life or suffer much more. Fair enough. PEACE TO YOU.... notfound404
Interests
gardening, piano, meditation
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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bam (or flip flop without the fllop)
July 17, 2008 11:09am
I was at a really nice steakhouse with the family on vacation. Feeling good. Had been doing spa stuff and generally enjoying myself. Then at …
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Oh crap, my brains thinks 'morning' in the dead of night
July 1, 2008 2:19am
I didn't sleep but a couple hours last night, so be it. Power through the day with one LESS cup of coffee, last cup by 1PM. 1mg …
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trouble sleeping...Clarity has it's side effects...
June 30, 2008 2:17am
Clarity has it's side effects...
I realized tonight that while the new Geodon seems to be giving me some odd clarity or organizational …
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Strategies That Work For Me #1
June 22, 2008 5:01pm
Ironically if a person is having severe troubles they need help now. But in a crisis is EXACTLY when you are LEAST likely to be able to navigate the …
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Hugbook
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Photos
notfound404 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar diagnosed at 40yrs. Don't know, symptoms match and treatment the best I found. So must be true. I have successful stragies to share, and some har issues remian. Life is hard.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- Made me feel like some impending tragedy was about to occur, any dose. Horrible experiences.
- Ativan Not Working
- Depakote Not Working
- Lamictal Working / Worked
- What I take, seems to minimize the 'swingset' called bipolar. Not a silver bullet, dizziness at hirger doses
- Lithium Not Working
- didn't even notice it
- Risperdal Not Working
- nada
- Symbyax Working / Worked
- In my extreme cases I took it and it breaks a cycle, used for depression end of the cycle. It is Zyprexa and Prozac. I find that pill combo just as good, and I want to stop the Zyprexa pretty soon and continue with Prozac a week or so every other day. Zprexa scares me and 'zonks' me. Prozac easily throughs me to mania, but the combo is an EXCELLENT killer of manic dysphoria.
- Tegretol Not Working
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- throws me into mania
- Zyprexa Working / Worked
- Works to calm mania or depression but zonks me and scares me about the diabetes issues reported.
Close Anxiety
Anxiety eats me alive. I do a lot to manage it with very marginal success. I do rely on Xanex or Klonopin quite a bit(my DR says I am too conservative and worry too much about becoming addicted...irony is sometimes so ironic). But mostly I worry, endlessly. Death will definitely give some relief in this area...no worries, I am not racing towards that end:)
Treatments
- Breathwork Working / Worked
- I lack discipline to use this, but when I remember it works sometimes.
- BuSpar Not Working
- nada...hey did I even take anything?
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- My keeper. Cheap, long lasting..it works. Not too sleepy either.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Off and on. You know the key thing about meditation is doing it. And I cannot control my lack of discipline and if I am really wacko(a lot) I can barely sit 2 minutes. More on this in chatting I am sure. BUT SOME OF MY BEST MOMENTS OF PEACE HAVE BEEN IN MEDITATION using buddhist 'type' thinking/introspection, etc.
- Paxil Not Working
- minimal help, side effects
- Trazodone Somewhat Helpful
- I used to use for sleeping but makes me way too drozy and I felt it made me go depressed easier.
- Valium Not Working
- Knocks me out if I use a dose high enough to make the anxiety subside.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- Greate stuff for quick relief(panic, high anxiety), but makes me drozy in doses high enough to give really good relief.
- Zoloft Not Working
- Minimal help and side effects
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Friends
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Snapshot
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