poshrosh’s Profile

About Me

I lost my husband of 5 years on the 18th April this year whilst in Dubai for his bestfriends wedding. We were there together with a group of nine friends, and our two youngest children, a daughter of four and our 22 month old son. The two eldest, from a previous relationship are 12 and 10 year old boys. I am lost without my fantastic, generous, funny soul mate. He was an amazing man, loved by everyone he met. He was 36, I am 42. I saw him on the beach after he had been found floating in the sea covered from head to toe with a white sheet, i called out his name as i ran towards his body. I wanted to be sick. A friend and he decided to row a 10 man dingy round the palm to the villa that we ( the wedding party) had rented for the week. My hubbie loosened the oar and it fell into the sea, our friend dived in to retrieve it which he did but a nut had been lost and rowing the boat to shore was not possible. When our friend was unable to get back in the boat, and the boat was drifting further out to sea, our friend swam to shore to get help, my husband was supposed to stay in the boat and wait for help. When the boat was found, Darren wasn't in it, and was later found floating in the water. They were unable to resusitate him. I lost a sister in a car crash when i was 26 and she was 25 so i know what is ahead of me. I am unbearably sad and don't know how i am going to get through this, especially the winter months. The eldest two are very up and down, but my main concern was for our four year old who adored her daddy. The baby appears to be unaffected which is a blessing although i am dreading his second birthday. I would really appreciate the support of others who have been in a similar position and think that being on the computer at night would be more beneficial than increasing my alcohol content. I am taking a tablet called Citalopran which i believe reduces anxiety and i have to admit i don't think i would have been able to cope without them.