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princessdq's Journal

another horrible day!! Mood

Thursday, July 17, 2008 | A General Update story

so today i went in 4 a check up on my vitals and everything like that and i have low heart rate and blood pressure. they wanted to admit me but i said no ill be fine. then they asked me if id eaten any thing and i said no.... i already knew what was comming ............. the evil tube! so they held me down and whatever they did and then i went and threw it up like i always do and this time i didnt get caught!! i threw up 5 times today. because my mom told me to eat a lil something so i ate a few crackers and got rid of them then i drank water so had to get rid of that too. i no i have to stop purging but its so hard! my throat hurts and my blisters on my hands really hurt. well i dont even know anymore.

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Comments

honey, it's okay. you need to understand first of all that you're such a sweet and amazing girl but you need to take control. Im really worried about you. I hate the blisters you get, please try to keep something down, I don't wanna lose you! Please be kind to yourself. I know where you're coming from but trust me, it's not worth it. I love you girl, I'll talk to ya in a couple of weeks!

BrokenFairyWings
It's all hard, but it does get easier if recovery is really what you want. I don't think you should be saying that you don't know anymore, I think you do know, you know what you need to do and now you just need to make the choice to start doing it.
If the doctors think you need the tube, then take advantage of it instead of thinking it's the worst thing in the world. Atleast you don't have to go through the stress of trying to eat all on your own - I know how hard that is. Keep fighting, I have faith in you. xo

havenofear