helplessly untouchable.
June 21, 2008 11:36pm
Lately my boyfriend has wanted to get closer by touching. Not only wanting me to touch my body but he wants to touch it. He says he wants to become …
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TorTor1242’s Profile
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Hello, my name is Torina.
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helplessly untouchable.
June 21, 2008 11:36pm
Lately my boyfriend has wanted to get closer by touching. Not only wanting me to touch my body but he wants to touch it. He says he wants to become …
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Close Depression
: Post Partum DepressionEarlier in my schooling I was teased alot and didn't think I was worth much. Plus it was hard dealing with my parents fighting night after night. I used to go online to talk to people because I felt like they were the only people who understood me. In sixth grade though one of those people made me feel like i was so special and I tried to meet him. Turned out he was just another scumbag wanting to get laid. After that I got teased more and more. Everything got worst. I struggled with ripping my arms up with scissors to covering it all up the next day like everything was alright. I really didn't believe something was wrong with me until 8th grade when I looked at myself in pictures from a year before and seeing how ugly i was. All I saw was someone of pure fat. I stopped eating. I remember during school hearing my stomach growling but telling myself it was alright that in the end people would actually look at me like I was normal. In one week there was a 13 pound drop in my weight. If it were to drop any more I would be underweight. Not eating wasn't the only thing I did though I would exercise nonstop. If I were to sit on the couch once I would just feel all grossed out and fat. Then I started wearing these really tight bracelets. I could feel the circulation being cut off in my arms and watched as my fingers turned purple. I often checked the bracelets to see how many marks I got. at one point they cut through the skin. Then later I started trying to choke myself. One Friday night I tried to choke myself three times. A week later I started overdosing on my anti depressents and my sleeping pills. It all started before a movie I was going to with my mother. I didn't want to feel my anxiety that night so I took three of my anti deppressents. The next day I snuck them into the bathroom of a hotel room while my mother was sleeping and took five sleeping pills and 4 anti depressents. A couple minutes later in the car I took 2 sleeping pills. That day I remember feeling so tired I sat down on the couch and immediately fell asleep. Before school a day after I took three sleeping pills. And it kept going on though I stopped taking so many anti depressents so my parents wouldn't notice them gone. To this day I am still trying to get over my depression.
Treatments
- Writing Not Working
- I tried to write possibly to tone down how depressed I was. But thing was that just made me think too much about what was happening and it made it way worst then it ever was.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- I would try the best I could to think positively but in the end I ended up thinking negatively. But I would try and try It was somewhat helping but not really. Nothing really worked.
Close Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaLately I have suffered with eating. I just haven't wanted to eat and kept convincing myself I wasn't hungry though I was. I just exercised off my hunger.
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Everything they said I just refused to listen. I just really wanted for people to think I was skinny. I wanted my mom to think I was gorgeous like she called all my friends.
Open Bereavement - Teens
When I was around 6 years old i learned that I had lost a twin sister. As time went on I clung more and more to not having her. It just felt like half of me was missing. Now every time I think if it I find it hard to believe thinking that I killed her and that because i'm living she isnt.
Treatments
- Pets Working / Worked
- My pets are really helping me get through it. They just feel like my friends and I can get closer to them.
Open Depression - Teen
So I was 13 when I learned that I was depressed though it started when I was 12. During my depression I went through things such as annorexia, overdosage on pills, ripping up the skin on my arms, and cutting off the circulation in my arms. I still am not completly over it.
Treatments
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I think it is really woring...well that is when i remember to take it. Although I tell you never overdose on Prozac. I made that mistake and I couldn't even walk down the stairs for about a month without falling over. Plus my hands wouldnt stop violently shaking.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingWhen I was very young my identical twin sister died. Since then ive been feeling half of me missing,
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- Actually it really depends on what type of music. some just makes me sadder
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