Join Now
Doing a little better today H and I talk every now and again. I still know I love and care for him ,just not in love like I use to be. He is young and has alot of growing up to do I just don't know if i am the person to wait until he does . I tell all the time either you invest your priorities in the family you help to create or you don't all and all . I feel good to stand on my own for a while I know I will never trust him again or a least until he can find his own way to prove his loyalty and commitment to his wife . I personally have decided to let all of my baggage go and consentrate on me and my needs and accomplish my goal of healing and owning my own house one day. i have already cleared my credit up, business pick up with my home daycare i feel really blessed to have the family and friends i have by my side. I feel like if i had to the low road and tried to do to him what he did to me. I would have had so much bad KARMA!!! but i chose the high road and decided to stay true to my vows. And now I have nothing but postive energy and good KARMA in my life. I now Know no matter what I will Be o.k . I love myself to much. To keep playing a fool. I love him and i pray everyday for him to grow up and become the man i need in my life maybe one day for now i am satisfied with starting over as his friend. And Starting couseling soon so only time will tell. for now i want to enjoy my life because that is the one thing that there is no guarantee of. Life is too short to ,to keep living your life worrying about if the other person will step out on you again. What goes around comes around i am a true believer in it. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UPDATED GOALS
start healing
Progress 30%
Encouragements: 0
Add your support
I talk to my husband today . no real progress just told him again how i felt and let him know there is nothing else for me to say about everything. i told him straight to the point if you wnt your family and your marriage. you know what you have to do and i have to do what i have to do for my self and my children. and let him know i love him and i care about him but i can't stand him anymore and what he has done to me and i can't keep taking this from him so i can't be with him and that he has some extreme life changes to make before i would ever consider taking him back in my heart again and hopefully it is not too late. other than that on Sunday i enjoyed time with my two kids at the mall that was'nt my destination but it turned out to be a pretty good day. and it took my mind off of the asshole for a least a bit . i pray every chance i get and i know god will only give me what i can handle all and all i know i will be stronger once i can heal and get throught all of this. and for that i will be truly blessed.
Comments
I have'nt written since last year around this time. to all who sent me hugs .God bless you! Bills got behind and internet turned off. but i am back with a whole set of new drama. I recently as recent as today told my husband to leave . he works at target over night. and in november cheated on me again . i keep him out and took him back. he told me this female left with the other seasonal workers but that was another one of his lies. I called the the female at his job to find out if they were still messin around she confirmed there was nothing going. but told me that he was however messin around with someone else. I confronted him he said he didn't know this person and that she did'nt work there. it was confirmed from a friend of mine that she in fact does work there. he still denied. i called the female my self she says i do know him we are friends we talk . why would he lie . well to make a long story short i actually believe the first female he messed with. i believe the other one is lying and that my husband is more than just her friend. and if it was nothing more going on why lie and denie that you know her. and he never tells any one he is marreid. so i told him since you are living like you are single and when i am out of site i am out of your mind then you need to be on your own and away from me. I hate him for how he has made me feel . H e did'nt even try to talk to me he did'nt even try to save us . he just accepted it and left to stay at his sisters house . he did'nt even try to fight for us. he just left. and i feel like crap but i know i made the right decision for myself who is he to keep doing this to me after i take him back. i had'nt even really healed from the first time he cheated and for him to do the same thing at a different job the same way again . I HATE HIM SO ,SO ,SO MUCH. but i still love him . i don't belong with him right now . he has to grow up and he has alot of change to accomplish. I am so,so, so, hurt . to have to deal with all over again.
Past Entries
Goal Updated
I'm so sorry. You know I've done alot of healing from when my H cheated but it still crosses my mind that he could do it again. I'm sorry it happened to you. I do think you are awesome in that you confronted him and stood your ground! That took awesome strength! Good for you. God does only give us what we can handle but man sometimes I really think He pushes us on the limit that we can handle. One verse that has been on my heart lately is Proverbs 10:24 What the righteous desire will be granted. I pray that for you. Take care.
brokenkat