ecoanthrogirl's Journal

Here I am feeling just ok and not being able to get to sleep.  I have been worrying myself lately.  About everything it seems.  Worry this, worry that.  I worry because I can't go to sleep.  I worry at the pool that my daughter will drown (even though I am right next to her).  I worry that we can't pay the bills, I worry that I'm not losing any weight despite my recent efforts.  I worry that I am a terrible mother and a lousy wife.  I worry because our house won't sell. Why do I worry so much.  Why can't I just find some inner peace?  I feel like I should be doing something.  What, I don't know.  I feel so useless sometimes and l want to do more, be more.  I wonder if I was someone important in a past life and that has made me so restless in this one.  Maybe I did great things one time and now I'm not.  I don't know, I am tired but I can't go to sleep so I am being silly I think.  My back pain is here again and I am starting to think it is time to see the pain management specialist again for some injections.  The headaches have remained at a dull ache lately so that is good (no vomiting - yee haw).  Have I become so accustomed to pain that it is my reality?  Who knows.