sugarbaker01's Journal

I'm feeling down today.  I just posted another topic for discussion and got very little feedback, as usual.  I feel like DS is another place where I just don't fit in.  I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.  I went to my girlfriend's house on Friday night for a jewelry party and felt like I didn't fit in there and we've been friends for years.  I just don't know where I fit in.  I don't feel like I fit into Danny's life at all.  I just bring clutter and chaos to it.  He likes to be organized and while I like to be I'm just not.  I can't help it.  I just don't fit in no matter where I go.  I am starting to feel like I am going into another depression again and that's not good.  I don't like the way that I am feeling.  I feel like I am starting to slide into that deep dark pit and it is scaring me.  I just had a root canal two days ago, my mouth is still sore, I don't have dental insurance, I don't know how I'm going to pay for the root canal or the crown to follow, so things are just starting to look bleak.  Danny says he'll help me out but I know he can't afford it either.  I just don't know what I'm going to do.  All I feel like doing is crying and I think that is exactly what I am going to do.  Go back to bed and cry.  That's all that I'm good for anyway.  The dog doesn't even pay attention to me.  He just sits on his chair all day unless I have food, then he notices me.  Otherwise I don't even exist.  I guess I'm just kind of invisible.  That's a good way to describe me - invisible.