Catch 22
July 21, 2008 11:32pm
I want to believe I'm getting better. But there's always that little voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that I'm one flashback, …
circularcycles’s Profile
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circularcycles
is feeling Horrible
Horrible doesn't begin to describe it..
About Me
I am recovering from a near fatal MVA, resulting in MTBI, BP, PTSD, severe whiplash injury, among other issues. Going back to school 9/08, if my docs let me go. My two brothers and father are bipolar. I work graveyard on a remodel crew, at the local Wallyworld.
Interests
I play the piano, or I used to. I play occasionally now, on my better days. I enjoy wild weather, especially thunderstorms at sunset. I listen to alot of different music, but you will usually catch me with soft rock, jazz, or contemporary classical. I enjoy exercising the second amendment, when my parents allow me to. I enjoy musicals. I read or write to pass the time when I can't sleep.
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Journal
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Hugbook
Hug
Thank you for adding me!im excited to talk and get to know you!Ill always be here for you if you need or want to talk!I consider all my DS friends as family!Hope your day went well!
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Support Groups
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I survived a near fatal MVA twenty months ago.The fallout has been ridiculously violent. PTSD manifested within three months, bipolar within six. An MTBI complicates things, along with a severe whiplash injury. I'm finally back to work, and hoping to go back to school in Sept., provided the doc releases me...
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- My therapist is awesome! She pushes me, but doesn't make me feel bad when I can't get something. She tries to find ways to make coping work with my family situation, and always takes time to help me be successful.
- EMDR Working / Worked
- It changed my life!!! I went from being housebound, paranoid, and terrified of driving/cars to being able to cope, and start living again.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- My counselors don't appreciate just how intricate everything is, and living in a house with four bipolar people eliminates by necessity a lot of "expression". The wreck influenced everything from my life view to the way I perceive everything. They are incapable of giving me anything but trite answers, but at least they will let me vent without getting in my face in response.
- Talking Not Working
- I have four bipolar people in my house, and tolerance for my emotions or mood swings is very low. They refuse to just let me deal with it, insisting that I "stop whining and get on with it. It's been two years!"
- Lithium Not Working
- Weve tried two different doses with no change in behavior or blood levels.
Close Bipolar Disorder
I have a family history of BP- my two biological brothers and my father are bipolar, along with an aunt, uncle, and cousin.I manifested about six months after an MVA that gave me a traumatic brain injury, but I didn't receive treatment for several months because of other factors and illnesses from the wreck. That was in '06. We are still looking for drugs that work.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- It doped me up and I gained roughly forty pounds. Also, huge appetite and acne.
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Massive doses (>15 mg/dose) trying to control seizure like activity in hosp. After, used to control lingering effects, and as mild sedative.
- Depakote Not Working
- Horrible cognitive dulling, doped up look, upwards of fifty pound weight gain.
- Geodon Not Working
- I had major cognitive dulling, weight gain, and contributed to a week in the hosp, divided between the neuro floor for seizure like activity and the psych floor for new meds and eval. Weight gain and acne issues.
- Lithium Too Soon to Tell
- Current med of choice. Better than all others, but still unstable. Blood levels remain constant, despite a 300mg jump.
- Risperdal Somewhat Helpful
- Not as bad as the other drugs dulling wise, but weight gain, appetite, and acne were big issues.We tried 2nd gen "Invega", resulting in xtra parametal syndrome.
- Seroquel Not Working
- Put me to sleep for eighteen hours. One day trial.
- Topamax Somewhat Helpful
- We used it as migrane control for the head injury and an appetite suppressant re: risperdal and invega. Never got high enough dosage to be consistently helpful.
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