need2Bmommy's Journal

 Kronda and I have not yet been able to inseminate. Somehow things keep going wrong when we try to arrange it with our donor. I'm feeling kind of at a loss for control of the situation. He had agreed to donating often, and now it seems like he doesn't remember that conversation at all. Kronda feels embarrassed about calling him and arranging things, which I can understand. But I feel embarrassed about it too, and don't want him to feel like I'm pestering him all the time.

I feel anxious and frustrated because I'm not seeing that fertile cm anymore. I haven't seen a spike in my BBT, so I don't think I've ovulated yet... but still.

Today is day 23 of my cycle. I expect to have anywhere from a 35 day cycle, to a 50 day cycle. Who bloody knows with my recent track record. If I have about a 40 day cycle, I should be ovulating int he next 3 days or so, which means it's crunch time already and he haven't been able to try even once yet. I really wanted to give it our all this month and sort of flood the gates if you will. But it seems like I'm the only one trying to make that happen. Unfortunatly, this can't be a one person show.

I feel like I don't have any control over the situation anymore, and I'm trying not to stress about it, but it's hard.