MY goal is still sitting there. …
MY goal is still sitting there. You are right, I am becoming a different person, I don't know how to put it into …
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I still haven't found the will to live yet, so my goal of becoming a new person is going nowhere. The first thing, in terms of becoming a new person, would be embracing that such a goal is possible, and that, indeed, there is sufficient cause for trying and for believing this is a life worth hoping for. I can say that I want to become a new person all that I want to, but so long as my heart, mind, and dreams are still at least halfway drawn to the hereafter, there is little motivation for me to try to find a place in the here and now. At present, that heart, mind, and dream life are well over halfway drawn to the hereafter, though I have lost the self-mutilatory, self-destructive tendencies. Is this progress? Some might say that it is. But there is still remaining a Grand Canyon between not acting in suicidal ways, and actively fighting to find meaning and purpose to one's life. I haven't retrieved the will to destroy myself. Yet, I still haven't found the will to live.
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Become a new person
Progress 0%
Encouragements: 1
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I'm sorry you despair. Your goal is so WORTH it. Since you are a former minister, I'm not sure if you'd be receptive of something steeped in the eastern philosophies, but in doing so I understand you ask very deep questions. I'd like to recommend ANYTHING by Pema Chodron. Especially "When Things Fall Apart", or "Start Where You Are". She also has several audio tapes you may be able to find at your local library. I take anything written with a grain of salt, but these two books in particular helped ME see things from a different perspective. I re-read particular sections regularly.
L8bloomer
Hi. I have just joined this support group. I hope to give and recieve encouragement. Well - NotYetAlive - I am sorry to read of your sad feelings. You have been referred to as a former minister. I assume you were a minister of the gospel of Christ. (If not, please excuse, and I sincerely hope I am not offensive in any way). But I would encourage you to keep on the good fight.
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