symphase’s Profile
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About Me
Alittle about myself, I am sober now since May 19, 2004 so it has been over 4 years now. I am very grateful today, I almost died from my alcoholism-which took me to some very abusive marraiges. I grew up in an abusive home, neglect and all that pretty stuff, my parents though worked very hard, I have a strong work ethic and have chosen to work my ass off now. I am dedicated to my program of AA that has been good to me. I often work on my self esteem, I am a very pretty lady with a beautiful big heart that people pleases too much and that is how I am. I used to think I was not worthy enough, but today I differ on that, age has done me well in all aspects of my outer and inner self. I have three wonderful children that do not reside by me because of my past and it is only by the grace of God that I am alive today to at least have them in my life. I am very fortunate that I survived through my suicide attempts, God is good. today I work real hard and have chosen a career path, I will be going for my bachelors and I hope to achieve this by 2015. My goals are set high. I like them that way, I am a poet and a writer that has never published, but I have 37 books to my own writings that are dear to me. I awake every day and thank God that i made it another day sober and to direct my thinking. That is pretty much about it for me. My name is Simonne and I live one day at a time. :) I have blue eyes and reddish hair, my skin is fair and I am not too short, but not tall at all....lol
Interests
I work alot, I am into womens networking, Diversity, I have sponsees that work the steps, I write on a daily basis and this DS has been very awesome as another tool to have in my life. I go every Saturday to see my kids and that is a tradition of mine, my responsibilities have increased so that is part of my interests. Life is good and too short to pass up these days. The beach is my favorite and I love the ocean breeze -
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Recent Activity
Yesterday
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symphase gave MadMax13 a Hug 6:59pm
Big Bear hugz back…
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symphase gave brooklynmarie a Hug 12:19pm
been okay I guess, got so much to friggin do and I am kinda in an overwhelming stage at the moment...how…
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symphase replied to ReedM’s discussion post something to start the day with in the Alcoholism support group 11:31am
Oh I have heard that one, it is great...…
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symphase replied to Jacker’s discussion post GOOD MORNING in the Alcoholism support group 11:23am
I wouldn't sing it, but it is cute…
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symphase replied to mikey62’s discussion post Happy Thanksgiving in the Alcoholism support group 11:23am
Grateful for the God in my life and my sobriety…
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Journal
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This entry is private
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Hugbook
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Hug
Thank you Simmone for the hugs I needed it.
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Hug
Yeah I know what you mean. Hang in there big hug for your Monday.
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Hug
oh yeah, I totally understand being overwhelmed....I have been, too, for the looongest time....gotta love that!! grrr....its annoying, isn't it?!!? Well, I am here for you if you ever need to talk. :o))))
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Hug
Hey hun, glad to see that you're online...I miss chatting with you!! How are you?!!? :o))
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Hug
Hey sweetie whata up to?
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Photos
symphase hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Alcoholism
I am just your average woman trying to live on lifes terms with out screwing up anymore. I am an alcoholic who just recieved a four year chip. ANd take it day by day. I work alot of hours so I try to balance this because I substitute other things for my fix. So am into progress and no more perfection. I have three wonderful children who do not reside by me because of my disease of alcoholism and addictions from my past, I just do the best I can now
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Working / Worked
- I still work a 12 step program to live like others today
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- I am in AA and continue with this program as a gift so I dont let go
- Detox Working / Worked
- 45 day program saved my life
- Willpower Somewhat Helpful
- I quit for two years in my past, self will does run riot--chaos didnt die and hated me.
Close Meth Addiction & Recovery
Started drugs after alcohol.Meth was the drug that was my all-- I work a program after my bottom, I hit hard -92 pounds hard and fought all the way and still clean today
Treatments
- Detox Working / Worked
- It worksed, my bottom and the detox- showed me another way to live
- Narcotics Anonymous (NA) Working / Worked
- I believe this works, it truly does-- one day at a time. Moment to moment-- stay connected
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2001 after I was picked for a domestic violent shelter and beat up with two black eyes and a bruised body with all the other things that I went through in my life,as the psych expressed to me with the pills I didnt want and all the other stuff. I am pretty stubborn woman and like many have been through the ringer too. I do love life though, I think of suicide sometimes but dont react anymore, Ive learned on that. I did not know there was a support group forthis.
Treatments
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- I paint and draw when I have time. I gives me a little serenity. Poetry I love and writing alot - very effective
- Music Working / Worked
- I love all music, just to listen, sing, dance-- usually alone-lol but it is effective
- Paxil Not Working
- Helped for almost 3 months and I needed more cuz it wasnt working anymore-- needless to say quit
- Rape Counseling Working / Worked
- I tried this but overly resuming to past kept me down after 2 years stopped
- Reading Working / Worked
- Enjoy reading when possible-- this is still working too.
- Supportive Care Working / Worked
- this section has caught my eye-- thank you
- Talking Working / Worked
- I have sponsor instead that works with me on these issues through a program and get on with life -- memories pop in and out - so does anxiety-- just breathe!
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- It was another pill for awhile
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I have been married twice, both abusive. My first marraige was the involvement of drugs-- second alcohol and drugs again. I allowed alot of stuff and let my low self esteem eat me up and spit me out. I raged on men for a little while. I had two chldren with first-one with 2nd. I refuse to marry again. One took every cent I had the other tried, I learned from the first -- I do nt hate them, I just dont know......I loved the first til hate came didnt even like the 2nd much. 2drunk 2care.obligated
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- pain and draw when i have time. It always been my best medicine
- Divorce Working / Worked
- Been divorced for 4 years
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- still working on that
- Leave Working / Worked
- I got away to a domestic violent shelter. they taught me alot --red flags and all
- Music Working / Worked
- I very much enjoy music for sound and mind and to sing and to dance-- alone i do.
- Talking Working / Worked
- I discuss some things with my sponsor, really do not like to talk about it at all
Open Stress Management
Stress gives me anxiety so bad, I work from 6 am to around 5-7pm evening. I sponsor women-go to meetings,have commitments-kids on weekend-workshops-books-then their is the norm of cleaning,laundry,do this and that, mainly work-work-work-work-program-work-kids-work-work-downtime?? only this time--here time
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- It is my life and way for me to just be and sing and dance and just use as my own tool for me
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- It works if i put in to action -- my excuse, I work to much, the real story, i am lazy
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- It didn't for me, though I slept real well then gave me night mares --BAD --
Open Sexual Abuse
I am 36 now and have been sexually abused by three different ppl im my life. It is not easy to look back, I just got myself to start talking about it three years ago and not comfortable at all. My first encounter was age 16. I then married a man who at end of marraige really tore me up because I was not allowed to be looked at and did some horrible things when i mentioned divorce. Memories on that one really hurt alot.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- love to draw, paint and write
- Music Working / Worked
- Always good, only few songs i refuse to listen to, so my music has changed some
- Talking Working / Worked
- I have gotten to talk some about it, not in depth, but i am honest
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
- My program of AA has really put a benifit on the courage to heal- My self esteem is the need in healing with emotional and mental fallies, it is progress
Open Breakups & Divorce
Like most of my life, I screwed up two marraiges that were not based on the qualities as it should of been. Love and trust were demolished- first marraige.. 2nd marraige was obligation through pregnancy and we were drinkers. Both marraiges were with poor life styles that i am trying to pick my peices- though it has been four years since i have been married, there is alot of pain imbetween the 18 years of them.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- music is a passion that fulfills my soul and it has helped so much
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- you know it was somewhat helpful with all the turmoil parts about it - helps build self esteem alittle
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- family is important for sure. My second marraige was the one i got the support from. I was beat up so bad, they felt sorry for me
- Talking Working / Worked
- I talk more about it now then before, dont know why. I just didnt want to discuss it
- Time Working / Worked
- Time is all I have to heal and still healing
Open Self-Injury
I have tried to commit suicide all through out my pass, now i dont hurt myself but I think alot sometimes about it and i know it is selfish thing to do, so i was told, life is soo much better, but i drive down a hill and i want to drive off the cliff, why, i dont know. why not?? and the fear of when i tried before i feel like i cant but want to.
Treatments
- Tattoos Considering
- I dont know, I have 14 and I love the feeling of them, it is my art, and my life story on me
Open Time Management
I work about 11 hours a day, I am just enrolled in online school, I am in new relationship and keep in tune with my kids on weekends
Treatments
- Humex Working / Worked
- Breathing works great... I work a 12 step program and my loved ones I guess is my support
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 20 hugs given
- 18 hugs received
- 1 goal
- 3 discussion replies
- 2 group discussion posts
- 14 group discusson replies
- 4 journal comments
