jaimer22's Journal

Journal Entry for May 16, 2008 Mood

Friday, May 16, 2008 | A Painful story

Tomarrow will be the second anaversary of my grandpas passing. A lot has been running through my head about that day. I came home after spending the night at Michelle's house and was happy because the next day was my 22nd birthday. Well when I got home I realized things were very bad my grandpa died about an hour after I had gotten home. I always remember my uncle saying to me atleast you had a chance to say your good byes and you know what thats very true. I remember feeling so many things that day. One feeling I had was a sense of relief because for a long time I felt a sense of greiving because he pretty much had no quality of life so that was hard to be around 24/7. I also was very sad because I mean he was the only grandpa I had I never knew my mom's parents so losing him was very hard. I also felt angry at my uncle and my grandma because I remember her saying she wanted Michelle (my ex girlfriend) to leave because we needed to greive as a family, which was cool but I felt like she was getting pissed at Michelle only because my grandma walked in my room while michelle was trying to comfort me by holding me and kissing me. I understand that this whole experience was very stressful for everyone involved but Michelle wanted to come to the funneral for him and my grandma didn't want that because she never really knew him. I don't know I just had so many emotions that day but you know one thing Iam thankful for is that Michelle was my rock through the whole thing. But of course nobody liked that we had a relationship and tore us apart but thats for another time.